trust and forgiveness

marriage is a tough, tough gig

life’s a stormy sea

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Four quotes inform today’s senryu:

Kevin Costner once said, “I try to conduct my life with a certain amount of dignity and discretion — but marriage is a hard, hard gig,” Read More: https://www.thelist.com/1331805/signs-kevin-costner-christine-baumgartner-never-going-to-last/

“Marriage has become a lonely life raft in a storm-tossed sea.” Stephen Mintz, PhD. http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-prime-life/201606/why-marriages-are-so-difficult-sustain

“Broken trust in marriage

If trust has been broken in a marriage, there can be severe consequences beyond the end of the marriage. But let’s back up and see if the situation can be helped or modified towards a different conclusion.

First, if something has happened and there is mistrust in a marriage, both partners have to want to mend what is broken. Frank conversations are needed to tackle a lack of trust in a relationship.

Both people must speak openly about what has happened to break the trust in the marriage. It simply does not work unless both are engaged in rectifying what has occurred.

It will take effort and some compromise from both people. Regardless of the cause, forgiveness must be part of the equation if the marriage continues.

If forgiveness cannot be achieved and the lack of trust in a relationship persists, it is better to seriously consider ending the relationship and moving on. …

There are several potential reasons for the lack of trust in your relationship. Mainly, these come from unresolved childhood pain, unmet needs, and unrealistic expectations. The key is to partner up with someone who has similar values so that you can create a unified future. 

Resolving a lack of trust will take time, but it is possible if both are willing to change. Sometimes that means getting some external support and guidance through individual or couples’ therapy. 

Clearly, at some point, you have to decide what’s right for you and whether the relationship is worth the fight. Either way, the decision is yours, so don’t let distrust ruin your life. Learn from it, make whatever changes you need, and keep looking forward.” Rachael Pace at http://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/lack-of-trust-in-a-relationship/