Category Archives: poetry

Be Right or Be in Relationship?

Some marriage counselors like to ask their clients, “Do you want to be right or in relationship?” This Socratic method approach suggests that “being right” may be more difficult and lonelier than you might initially think. In addition, being in relationship may not always include being “right.”

Below are two references that have crossed my desk today. The first is a is a Tricycle article on Zen Ethics which includes a second reference, the poem, “A Place Where We Are Right,” by the Israeli poet Yehudi Amichai.

May you find one or more of these words of wisdom helpful in your daily discernment.

—————————————–

“A Place Where We Are Right,” a poem by the Israeli poet Yehudi Amichai, shows this consequence perfectly:

From the place where we are right
Flowers will never grow
In the spring.

The place where we are right
Is hard and trampled
Like a yard.

But doubts and loves
Dig up the world
Like a mole, a plow.

And a whisper will be heard in the place
Where the ruined
House once stood.

(from The Selected Poetry of Yehudi Amichai, translation by Chana Bloch and Stephen Mitchell, University of California Press, 1996, used with permission of the translators)

Bearded Man On A Bus – New Book Recommendation

http://www.amazon.com/Bearded-Man-Bus-Immigrants-Privilege/

A friend and Buddhist mentor, Daniel L. Smith, has written a new book: Bearded Man On A Bus and it’s the perfect book for me right now as I live out my new life as a recovering romantic. His book is filled with wandering wisdom and gave me some fresh insights for my life journey. Specifically:

  • “Trailways red and white – and – lost all over” p.9
  • “Backwoods Alabama – born here, raised here, still feels she doesn’t belong.” p.31
  • “Wondering if enough is sufficient, if enough is in the right direction, if enough means loving just one person, enough? P.41
  • “Wrens migrating after the storm, down from Ontario for the summer; unaware of the tumult a world away.” p.75
  • “She sits in front of her all too honest mirror, as a thousand times before, one thought away from last week’s fantasy, another from this week’s fleeting memory, just one ahead of the nothingness, she fears.” p.82
  • “Tonight you end right quick, right here at table, Momma stirs her sauce with a long knife.” p.88
  • “Toils and tears of some creator we see as absent, but intuit in the present moment, moss underfoot or sandy shore, we find forgiveness in the sky. p.92
  • “Yet, it’s communion we’re really after, isn’t it? Not conversation, not community, but true communion at source – all light and insight.” p.99
  • “It is difficult, this staying in tenderness, this wanting to be” p.102
  • “What follows in the darkness, all a fantasy anyway, there’s not much real about any of it, but she, she goes on and on, almost as if there is no beginning and no end” p.107

My thanks to author Daniel L. Smith who approved the sharing of his words above. If you’d like to read more of his “wanderer’s spiritual journey … a collection (of) hopeful poems, possibly, because life continues, nothing is permanent, and breathing is such a fundamental right to exploring the conditions necessary for happiness in all humans, regardless of origin, journey, or destination.” check out his book available on Amazon.

Emily Bronte’s Faith Poem

“A deity synonymous with Nature … (Emily Bronte’s) poem of faith … finds its affirmation not through anthropomorphic rendering but in a pantheistic (and multiverse?) vision of Deity’s universal immanence.”

RJ’s analysis of Emily Bronte’s poem is both instructive and inspiring. Check it out at the link below.

Excerpts from The Departure and the Return

Richard Rohr and the Center for Action and Contemplation offer another provocative post at their Daily Meditation site: cac.org/daily-meditations/the-departure-and-the-return/

Below are a few excerpts that especially interest me, and hopefully you as well.


“We are created with an inner drive and necessity that sends all of us looking for our True Self, our true home, whether we know it or not. This journey is a spiral and never a straight line. …  

We dare not try to fill our souls and minds with numbing addictions, diversionary tactics, or mindless distractions. (We are) found, precisely in the depths of everything, even and maybe especially in the deep fathoming of our fallings and failures. … 

If we go to the depths of anything, we’ll begin to knock upon something substantial, “real,” and with a timeless quality. We’ll move from the starter kit of “belief” to an actual inner knowing. This is most especially true if we have ever (1) loved deeply, (2) accompanied someone through the mystery of dying, or (3) stood in genuine life-changing awe before mystery, time, or beauty. …   

Like Odysseus, we leave from Ithaca and we come back to Ithaca, but now it is fully home because all is included and nothing wasted or hated: even the dark parts are used in our favor. … What else could homecoming be?  

Poet C. P. Cavafy (1863–1933) expressed this understanding most beautifully in his famous poem “Ithaca”:  

Ithaca has now given you the beautiful voyage.  
Without her, you would never have taken the road. 
With the great wisdom you have gained on your voyage,  
with so much of your own experience now,  
you must finally know what Ithaca really means.
[1] “

References:  
[1] See C. P. Cavafy, “Ithaca,” in The Complete Poems of Cavafy, trans. Rae Dalven (New York: Harcourt, Brace and World, 1961), 36–37. Paraphrased by Richard Rohr. 

No Peace for the Wicked

Liar, Liar, Mother Earth on Fire

live by the lie die by the lie

easily misled by sociopaths who cry

war is peace ignorant belie

no justice no peace no shut eye

nature knows that by and by

oceans warm watch fish fry

hoping for the wells to dry

goodbye Goldilocks and die Lorelie


P.S. with thanks for inspiration provided by Isaiah 57, George Orwell, Robert Southey, Heinrich Heine and Thich Nhat Hanh who reminds us:

“We have a seed of anger in us. We have a seed of compassion in us. The practice is to help the seed of compassion to grow and the seed of anger to shrink.”

Two, Two, Two Things in One

Hot & Steamy

this is not triple x

this is my dog’s first dump of the day

large, firm and steaming with its salute to the sun

on this fine spring morning

mid-50s temp at 7:30am

oh, glorious excrement

to honor another opportunity

to process life’s bounty

Forecasters

calendars, like meteorologists,

or even those predicting the apocalypse,

can look foolish when their forecasts ring false

for example, spring begins on March 20

no, not true in Michigan,

calendars say what they say

but in reality

a Michigan spring begins later

oh, sure, in March there may be a sneak peak

but winter returns … to tamp down premature joy

suffering and joy …

the same is true for the other seasons too

each begins with a tease

only to truly arrive

much later than forecasted

Michigan and again and again ….

I recently moved back to my home state for this beautiful peninsula with its comforting and familiar geography. I have also returned to rebuild a relationship with my beautiful, comforting and familiar wife.

Thank god for second chances and a home that supports them.

Below is the link to another beautiful post from John Coyote aka John Castellenas accompanied by The Accidentals beautiful song.

12/12/23 – Time to Leave the Airport

life is a series of flights

we think we choose when to leave, when to arrive and where to go

but the variables are innumerable

plans, if made at all, are often challenged

and sometimes thwarted

dearly departed, dearly encountered,

traveling companions have plans too

and preferences and dreams

god, a good night’s sleep would be so helpful, i think

get me to the airport on time


Today’s free verse soliloquy is the result of dreams, texts, and holiday travel challenges. May we all be safe, healthy, and patient during this holiday season.

Dec 6 – Trust & Forgiveness

trust and forgiveness

marriage is a tough, tough gig

life’s a stormy sea


Four quotes inform today’s senryu:

Kevin Costner once said, “I try to conduct my life with a certain amount of dignity and discretion — but marriage is a hard, hard gig,” Read More: https://www.thelist.com/1331805/signs-kevin-costner-christine-baumgartner-never-going-to-last/

“Marriage has become a lonely life raft in a storm-tossed sea.” Stephen Mintz, PhD. http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-prime-life/201606/why-marriages-are-so-difficult-sustain

Broken trust in marriage

If trust has been broken in a marriage, there can be severe consequences beyond the end of the marriage. But let’s back up and see if the situation can be helped or modified towards a different conclusion.

First, if something has happened and there is mistrust in a marriage, both partners have to want to mend what is broken. Frank conversations are needed to tackle a lack of trust in a relationship.

Both people must speak openly about what has happened to break the trust in the marriage. It simply does not work unless both are engaged in rectifying what has occurred.

It will take effort and some compromise from both people. Regardless of the cause, forgiveness must be part of the equation if the marriage continues.

If forgiveness cannot be achieved and the lack of trust in a relationship persists, it is better to seriously consider ending the relationship and moving on. …

There are several potential reasons for the lack of trust in your relationship. Mainly, these come from unresolved childhood pain, unmet needs, and unrealistic expectations. The key is to partner up with someone who has similar values so that you can create a unified future. 

Resolving a lack of trust will take time, but it is possible if both are willing to change. Sometimes that means getting some external support and guidance through individual or couples’ therapy. 

Clearly, at some point, you have to decide what’s right for you and whether the relationship is worth the fight. Either way, the decision is yours, so don’t let distrust ruin your life. Learn from it, make whatever changes you need, and keep looking forward.” Rachael Pace at http://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/lack-of-trust-in-a-relationship/

Dec 5 – Trust 102

My quest to better understand and practice trust continues with today’s senryu.

It’s true, I need help.

Being vulnerable

is so hard for me.


brenebrown.com/videos/anatomy-trust-video/

Brene’ Brown employs the BRAVING acronym to explain how she understands trust. The twenty-three-minute video (found at the URL shown above) is well worth the time. In short, the acronym stands for boundaries, reliability, accountability, vault, integrity, nonjudgment, and generosity. Have a pen and paper handy because you will want to take some notes. That said the two most important things for me were:

  • Vault stands for holding confidences, keeping personal information safe and not gossiping.
  • Don’t trust someone who doesn’t trust themself. Brene’ quotes Maya Angelou who said “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves but say ‘I love you.'” Maya Angelou went on to share an African proverb: Be wary of a naked man offering you a shirt.

In other words, we have to trust ourselves first before we can trust others and be trustworthy to others. Self-love, self-love, self-respect are all critical components of building and maintaining trust.”

Three popular Brene’ Brown quotes:

“We need to trust to be vulnerable, and we need to be vulnerable in order to build trust.”

“Trust is earned in the smallest of moments. It is earned not through heroic deeds, or even highly visible actions, but through paying attention, listening, and gestures of genuine care and connection.”

Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.”

http://www.thedailyshifts.com/blog/25-popular-brene-brown-quotes-on-empathy-shame-and-trust