Category Archives: psychology

Is There More to You Than What I See?

Today’s senryu: More to You Than What I See

Who are you, really:

the person you think you are,

or who others need?

Two separate encounters took place yesterday. First, a woman in my cardio class came up to me after the workout and said, “I just want to wish you happy holidays.” This woman lost her husband three months ago to Alzheimer’s and is facing her first holiday season without him. She stuck out her hand to shake mine and with sad eyes waited for my response. I took her hand and lightly drew her in for a platonic hug and said, “thank you, I wish you happy holidays, too.” She smiled and said, “You’re a good guy.”

Second, a woman in my Tai Chi class came up and started talking about responding to an invitation to join a non-profit board. She’s a lawyer and her resume’ would easily qualify her for membership. She said she had some reservations about accepting the invitation because of some “PTSD issues” which she shared vaguely with the board chairperson, and they agreed that this wouldn’t be a good board for her to serve on. She added that the chairperson stated, there would be many similar “issues” that would come up in board discussions that might trigger her past traumatic experiences. She didn’t tell me what those “issues” were, and I didn’t ask.

Perhaps the senryu above is unnecessarily dualistic. Perhaps we can be AND serve others’ roles simultaneously. Perhaps, the writer Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. was wise when he said, “we are what we pretend to be so we must be careful what we pretend to be.” Kurt Vonnegut (2009). “Mother Night: A Novel”, p.5, Dial Press

High Coo – Dec 18 – Ball of Confusion

What a crazy world we live in! What a crazy Christmas/X-Mas season.

https://edgeofhumanity.com/2022/12/18/ball-of-confusion-the-temptations-1970/

Thank you, Edge of Humanity! Your song recommendation and YouTube link brought back some great memories. I especially enjoyed the current, this century, photos in the music video that corresponded to last century lyrics. I highly second this creative recommendation.

Today’s senryu: Ball of Confusion

mental dissonance

seasonal competition

non-violent night?

Another fun and confusing seasonal YouTube worth checking out is this Violent Night movie trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a53e4HHnx_s

universalpictures.com

Is Jesus the Reason for the Season?

High Coo – Nov 17 – Losing My Attachment Figures

https://theawkwardarchaeologist.wordpress.com/2019/03/11

Attachment theory is a very popular concept among psychologists and has been for a few decades now. It states that humans – in fact, all mammals – have an innate drive to seek out close emotional relationships with other people, who can become our ‘attachment figures’. Humans seem to have developed a particularly flexible attachment system. By this, I mean that we can become emotionally attached to a wide number of other people, from relatives to friends to romantic partners. Even non-humans can be our attachment figures – think about the bond you might have with a beloved pet, for example. Even inanimate objects can be attachment figures – the notion of a child and their teddy is a common attachment bond in many Western countries.” Maddie Bleasdale, aka The Awkward Archaeologist (see link above).

A recent Animal Chaplaincy class discussed how a loved pet (aka companion animal) can be a traumatic event for someone, especially when that loved one was a “primary attachment figure.” The guest speaker, Janel Griffieth, a Senior Director for CARE (Companions and Animals for Reform and Equity (https://careawo.org/about-us/) gave a powerful presentation about her personal experiences and why knowing more about trauma, resiliency, hope and the Attachment Theory can help animal chaplains be more empathetic when humans are emotionally devastated by the loss of their trusted non-human companion.

Today’s poem: Losing My Attachment Figures

the moment you died

I was sad, lonely, bereft –

I walk with you now

The book below, by Thich Nhat Hanh, has been helpful for me, perhaps it may be helpful to someone you know. https://www.parallax.org/product/how-to-live-when-a-loved-one-dies/