Category Archives: psychology

Dec 28 – Magical Thinking & Setting 2023 Goals

If you’re setting goals for 2023 it’s important to identify meaningful and achievable targets. Beware of magical thinking (e.g., 10x results over last year) AND beware of win/lose dualistic thinking (e.g., I will only be successful if I outperform the previous year).

Quick tangent: Dualism is the concept of two opposed or contrasted aspects. For example, to say something is tall there must be something that is short. To say something is up, there must be something that is down. Either/or, better/worse, win/lose. Another of the most common dualistic thoughts is the mind/body separation (e.g., promising more than you can deliver).

Matthew Hutson, a New York City science journalist and former news editor of Psychology Today, tells us that “Several studies show that people who think more intuitively are also more susceptible to magical thinking. One intuition that’s been proposed as a foundation for religious thought is Cartesian mind-body dualism, the idea that a mind can exist independently of a body.”

Hutson continues, “Dualism (is) the strongest predictor of the three types of supernatural belief. It’s the foundation for belief in God, a disembodied mind. It’s also necessary for belief in spirits, part of the paranormal package. And it may encourage belief in life’s purpose because people see disembodied intentionality acting everywhere, or because belief in the afterlife enhances life’s meaning.”

Take another look at the diagram above. It’s worth noting that at the entrance of that maze of boxes and lines haunted with ghosts and witches and talking trees is one simple item: mentalizing. Which means that if you’re a fully developed human, with an understanding that minds exist, then through one path or another you’re probably going to end up in magic-land.” http://www.magicalthinkingbook.com/2013/09/all-paths-lead-to-magical-thinking/

Today’s senryu: Beware Mind/Body Separation

consult the Divine,

stars, life coaches, blog stats … just

don’t forget to walk

CYE Countdown – Dec 27 – Magical Thinking for 2023

It’s that time of year when many review their calendar-year-end success and decide what goals or priorities they will have for the new year. Logic might suggest simply continuing what worked in the past and extrapolating some improvement by doing a little more, a little more effectively.

For example, if you made $40k this year then shoot for $42k next year. This incremental success seems reasonable, and, with focus and effort, a 5% increase can be achieved, unplanned-for calamities notwithstanding.

But let’s face it, logic isn’t sexy. For real inspiration, magical thinking can light up our imagination with dreams of 10x performance. Wouldn’t you prefer to earn $400k instead of $42k?

So, with the upcoming Chinese New Year of the Rabbit and Saturn leaving Aquarius to enter Pisces, I plan to explore magical thinking over the balance of 2022.

Today’s senryu: Magical Thinking for 2023

another year ends

a new year tempts us to dream

stay frosty out there

Dec 21 – Don’t Stop Believin’

It’s the Winter Solstice – shortest daylight of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. Daylight grows longer starting tomorrow.

Today’s senryu: Don’t Stop Believin’

my world is tilted

now ev’rything is better

far as I can see

Hanging on to positive expectations: HOPE. Check out this article to raise your view: https://www.calmsage.com/why-hope-is-important/

Is There More to You Than What I See?

Today’s senryu: More to You Than What I See

Who are you, really:

the person you think you are,

or who others need?

Two separate encounters took place yesterday. First, a woman in my cardio class came up to me after the workout and said, “I just want to wish you happy holidays.” This woman lost her husband three months ago to Alzheimer’s and is facing her first holiday season without him. She stuck out her hand to shake mine and with sad eyes waited for my response. I took her hand and lightly drew her in for a platonic hug and said, “thank you, I wish you happy holidays, too.” She smiled and said, “You’re a good guy.”

Second, a woman in my Tai Chi class came up and started talking about responding to an invitation to join a non-profit board. She’s a lawyer and her resume’ would easily qualify her for membership. She said she had some reservations about accepting the invitation because of some “PTSD issues” which she shared vaguely with the board chairperson, and they agreed that this wouldn’t be a good board for her to serve on. She added that the chairperson stated, there would be many similar “issues” that would come up in board discussions that might trigger her past traumatic experiences. She didn’t tell me what those “issues” were, and I didn’t ask.

Perhaps the senryu above is unnecessarily dualistic. Perhaps we can be AND serve others’ roles simultaneously. Perhaps, the writer Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. was wise when he said, “we are what we pretend to be so we must be careful what we pretend to be.” Kurt Vonnegut (2009). “Mother Night: A Novel”, p.5, Dial Press

High Coo – Dec 18 – Ball of Confusion

What a crazy world we live in! What a crazy Christmas/X-Mas season.

https://edgeofhumanity.com/2022/12/18/ball-of-confusion-the-temptations-1970/

Thank you, Edge of Humanity! Your song recommendation and YouTube link brought back some great memories. I especially enjoyed the current, this century, photos in the music video that corresponded to last century lyrics. I highly second this creative recommendation.

Today’s senryu: Ball of Confusion

mental dissonance

seasonal competition

non-violent night?

Another fun and confusing seasonal YouTube worth checking out is this Violent Night movie trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a53e4HHnx_s

universalpictures.com

Is Jesus the Reason for the Season?

High Coo – Nov 17 – Losing My Attachment Figures

https://theawkwardarchaeologist.wordpress.com/2019/03/11

Attachment theory is a very popular concept among psychologists and has been for a few decades now. It states that humans – in fact, all mammals – have an innate drive to seek out close emotional relationships with other people, who can become our ‘attachment figures’. Humans seem to have developed a particularly flexible attachment system. By this, I mean that we can become emotionally attached to a wide number of other people, from relatives to friends to romantic partners. Even non-humans can be our attachment figures – think about the bond you might have with a beloved pet, for example. Even inanimate objects can be attachment figures – the notion of a child and their teddy is a common attachment bond in many Western countries.” Maddie Bleasdale, aka The Awkward Archaeologist (see link above).

A recent Animal Chaplaincy class discussed how a loved pet (aka companion animal) can be a traumatic event for someone, especially when that loved one was a “primary attachment figure.” The guest speaker, Janel Griffieth, a Senior Director for CARE (Companions and Animals for Reform and Equity (https://careawo.org/about-us/) gave a powerful presentation about her personal experiences and why knowing more about trauma, resiliency, hope and the Attachment Theory can help animal chaplains be more empathetic when humans are emotionally devastated by the loss of their trusted non-human companion.

Today’s poem: Losing My Attachment Figures

the moment you died

I was sad, lonely, bereft –

I walk with you now

The book below, by Thich Nhat Hanh, has been helpful for me, perhaps it may be helpful to someone you know. https://www.parallax.org/product/how-to-live-when-a-loved-one-dies/