Tag Archives: spiritual bypassing

Don’t Be a Spiritual Zombie

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Spiritual zombie and spiritual bypassing are two terms that describe how we might “hide” during times of great challenge. Two articles have been especially helpful for me to better understand these concepts. The first is Hold to the Center from Tricycle Magazine and the second comes from Very Well Mind and is titled Spiritual Bypassing as a Defense Mechanism.

Some quick highlights and links to the full articles are offered below:

Roshi Wendy Egyoku Nakao, abbot emeritus and teacher for the Zen Center of Los Angeles, wrote an enlightening article in the Summer of 2017 for Tricycle Magazine. Her words still have much to offer us some eight years later.

Roshi Nakao reminds us, both gently and provocatively, that when times are tough we should be careful to not turn into spiritual zombies. Specifically, she said:

“To hold to the center is not about becoming a spiritual zombie; it is about living the fullness of your own humanity. You are alive, so be fully alive.”

Additional advice includes:

“The Three Tenets, which are Not-Knowing, Bearing Witness, and Taking Action, as an effective way to hold to the center in any given situation.”

The complete article can be found here:

Hold to the Center!

The second article is http://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-spiritual-bypassing with a quick excerpt below:

“Spiritual bypassing is a way of hiding behind spirituality or spiritual practices. It prevents people from acknowledging what they are feeling and distances them from both themselves and others. Some examples of spiritual bypassing include:

  • Avoiding feelings of anger
  • Believing in your own spiritual superiority as a way to hide from insecurities
  • Believing that traumatic events must serve as “learning experiences” or that there is a silver lining behind every negative experience
  • Believing that spiritual practices such as meditation or prayer are always positive
  • Extremely high, often unattainable, idealism
  • Feelings of detachment
  • Focusing only on spirituality and ignoring the present
  • Only focusing on the positive or being overly optimistic
  • Projecting your own negative feelings onto others
  • Pretending that things are fine when they are clearly not
  • Thinking that people can overcome their problems through positive thinking
  • Thinking that you must “rise above” your emotions
  • Using defense mechanisms such as denial and repression

May we all be well.

Spiritual Bypassing or Contemplation – Another Helpful Richard Rohr Teaching

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I have sought comfort in faith traditions and psychology my entire life; sometimes for healing and sometimes for hiding. Below is a repost of today’s daily meditation from Richard Rohr of the Center for Action and Contemplation. As he often does, Rohr helps me better understand how to heal myself versus hide behind the fantasy of my own little relationship with an imaginary Lord Protector.

But first, here’s a quick definition of the term spiritual bypassing:

Spiritual bypassing is a “tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks”. The term was introduced in the mid 1980s by John Welwood, a Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist.” (See en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spiritual_bypass)

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Contemplation: A Path to Compassion

Friday, March 28, 2025

Father Richard reminds us that regular contemplative practice is not an end in and of itself, but for the sake of solidarity with the suffering of the world:   

One of the main works of contemplation is detaching from the ego, from the self, from impure motivations of success or power, money or control. That will never stop, but it isn’t really that meaningful unless that detachment is accompanied by an attachment.  What do we find after all the months and years we’ve been practicing some form of contemplation or meditation? Do we have an increased attachment, sympathy, empathy, and compassion for what I call in The Tears of Things the suffering of the world? For the women of Gaza, the children of Ukraine, the starving people of Africa, the poorest of the poor, and all those marginalized in the United States and around the world? If the emptiness of “letting go” is not pretty soon filled up by “holding on” to some kind of deep solidarity with the suffering of the world, I don’t know that it’s Christian contemplation or even meaningful contemplation at all. It seems we’re simply back into private spirituality again.   

We’ve spent much of our history of contemplation seeking individually pure motivation. That’s a real temptation, but are we really going to spend the years ahead seeking only to be motivated to love Jesus on some private level? What does it even mean to love Jesus? What is the positive act of love? When we are in silent meditation or prayer, that’s what we’re praying is growing inside of us. As we let go of false motivations, and false, ego-based concerns, we’ve got to pray, hope, and desire for an increase in compassion, in caring, in solidarity with human suffering.   

I believe that’s what the cross means. The raised arms of Jesus are an act of solidarity and compassion with the human situation. So, as we sit in silence this morning and every morning, let’s pray that’s what we’re praying for: an increase in compassion by letting go of false purity codes and agendas, which we think make us holy or worthy of God’s love. It doesn’t matter if we have perfect motivation or a perfect practice. What is motivating us? Instead of perfection, let’s look for growth. Ultimately, we only see that growth over time as we grow in communion with those who suffer, grow in solidarity with human and beyond-human pain, and with the tears of things.  cac.org/daily-meditations

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