Author Archives: Patrick Cole

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About Patrick Cole

Husband, parent and writer. Sharing stories with a little humor and wisdom along the way.

Dec 12 – Learning to Love the Monstrous in Ourselves

tricycle.org/article/kai-cheng-thom-interview/

Tricycle magazine offers an insightful and provocative article on Kai Cheng Thom and her book Falling Back In Love With Being Human (c) 2023.

http://www.amazon.com/Falling-Back-Love-Being-Human

Highlights from the article/interview by Sarah Fleming include:

“I needed to know that I could love them,” she writes, “because that meant I could still love myself—as hopeless and lost as I had become.”

We’re less inclined to love one another because we’re so full of anger and hatred.

I don’t know if there is a God out there, but I think that human beings can offer one another divine love even in light of all that we’ve done wrong. I want to keep that idea around forever.

enlightenment is born—it’s not about resolving or conquering paradox by choosing one side; rather, it’s in the tension of more than one truth being true that a new wisdom arises. I think it’s so important to allow more than one thing to be true, especially when we’re talking about the nature of good and evil and people who may have harmed us

on the day-to-day level, choosing love is about resisting the spirit of panic and fear

Choosing love is about choosing courage: the courage to take a relational risk that is meaningful.

One important lesson from Buddhist practice is that falling back in love doesn’t really work if we are trying to fall back in love with other people first. Generally, it’s more sustainable if we start with ourselves. If we just try to love the oppressor without loving ourselves first, then we run the risk of internalizing our own oppression or gaslighting ourselves. It must begin with self-love, falling back in love with ourselves, and then we can fall back in love with others. Of course, it’s not linear—it’s a cycle we go through over and over again.”


Check out the full interview and the book at the links offered above.

12/12/23 – Time to Leave the Airport

life is a series of flights

we think we choose when to leave, when to arrive and where to go

but the variables are innumerable

plans, if made at all, are often challenged

and sometimes thwarted

dearly departed, dearly encountered,

traveling companions have plans too

and preferences and dreams

god, a good night’s sleep would be so helpful, i think

get me to the airport on time


Today’s free verse soliloquy is the result of dreams, texts, and holiday travel challenges. May we all be safe, healthy, and patient during this holiday season.