Category Archives: Wisdom
Bit by bit … Lynn J Kelly’s Advice
“May we become more sensitive to other people and their needs. If we feel empathy towards others, our generosity is strengthened and our greed recedes, bit by bit.”
More information on Generosity
Lynn J Kelly provides more thoughts on how to live more skillfully.
May We Have Ears to Hear
Check out this provocative post from Brandy Anderson. I truly enjoy her perspective and thoughtful commentary.
Which Way to Forgiveness and Falling Upward
Last year was very difficult. This year I’m focused on forgiveness and a fresh start.
Two references are helping me today. First, the lyrics of Tom Petty’s Time to Move On and second, Richard Rohr’s book, Falling Upward.
Generosity as Foundation
Dec 5 – Trust 102
My quest to better understand and practice trust continues with today’s senryu.
It’s true, I need help.
Being vulnerable
is so hard for me.
brenebrown.com/videos/anatomy-trust-video/
Brene’ Brown employs the BRAVING acronym to explain how she understands trust. The twenty-three-minute video (found at the URL shown above) is well worth the time. In short, the acronym stands for boundaries, reliability, accountability, vault, integrity, nonjudgment, and generosity. Have a pen and paper handy because you will want to take some notes. That said the two most important things for me were:
- Vault stands for holding confidences, keeping personal information safe and not gossiping.
- Don’t trust someone who doesn’t trust themself. Brene’ quotes Maya Angelou who said “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves but say ‘I love you.'” Maya Angelou went on to share an African proverb: Be wary of a naked man offering you a shirt.
In other words, we have to trust ourselves first before we can trust others and be trustworthy to others. Self-love, self-love, self-respect are all critical components of building and maintaining trust.”
Three popular Brene’ Brown quotes:
“We need to trust to be vulnerable, and we need to be vulnerable in order to build trust.”
“Trust is earned in the smallest of moments. It is earned not through heroic deeds, or even highly visible actions, but through paying attention, listening, and gestures of genuine care and connection.”
“Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.”
http://www.thedailyshifts.com/blog/25-popular-brene-brown-quotes-on-empathy-shame-and-trust
Dec 4 – Trust 101
I have been encouraged to study and practice the definitions of trust.
One definition is “Consistency over time is trust” credited to Microsoft CEO, Satya Nadella in his book, Hit Refresh: The Quest to Rediscover Microsoft’s Soul and Imagine a Better Future for Everyone. Clearly, doing the same thing over and over again will build a reputation of reliability. Repetitive behavior can be counted on to not surprise others; this definition of trust might be synonymized as being “solid and dependable.”
Another definition of trust offered in an internet search is perhaps a more metaphysical one. “We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.” –Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul: A Guide for Cultivating Depth and Sacredness in Everyday Life
So, today’s senryu is:
to build trust, let’s be
open and reliable
no surprises, please
ETTA PEARL & IT ALL BEGINS WITH UNION
her blindness and his ignorance
her deafness and his magical thinking
her dementia and his futility
our connection and our rescue
Here are two different topics that totally connect for me.

First, Etta Pearl was the first rescue dog I adopted. Found near a dumpster, lost or abandoned, she needed and received help. Unfortunately, she was blind and deaf and very agitated. For some convoluted reason, I thought I was ready to take on this challenge.
I’ve since learned that there’s a term for when a rescue shelter wants to help an animal but knows they are extremely medically challenged AND they don’t want to hurt their statistics for being a “no-kill facility.” The term is outsourced euthanasia.
If a private individual adopts an animal and then proceeds with a vet-recommended end-of-life procedure, then the animal is “liberated” from their suffering AND the rescue shelter does not record the death on their records.
In Etta Pearl’s case, her extreme agitation led to obsessively walking in tight circles and biting anyone who tried to comfort or feed her. The vet said it was a clear case of canine cognitive dysfunction aka “doggie dementia.” My first rescue adoption lasted less than three weeks.
Second, is …
Richard Rohr‘s Daily Meditation
From the Center for Action and Contemplation
Week Forty-Eight: The Prophetic Path: Motivated by Love
It All Begins with Union
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
—Romans 8:38–39
This week we focus on people who call us to act out of loving union with God for the sake of others. Father Richard considers union with God as something that has already taken place, whether we experience it or not:
We are already in union with God! There is an absolute, eternal union between God and the soul of everything. At the deepest level, we are “hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3) and “the whole creation … is being brought into the same glorious freedom as the children of God” (Romans 8:21). The problem is Western religion has not taught us this. For most Christians that I’ve worked with as a priest, God is still separate and “out there.” Most people are still trying to secure God’s approval. Our ego over-emphasizes our individuality and separateness from God and others. We limited God’s redemption to the human species—and not very many individuals within that species! [1]
Daily contemplative prayer helps us rediscover our inherent union and learn how to abide in Presence, trusting that we are already good and safe in God. We don’t have to worry about our little private, separate, insecure self. Jesus taught, I am one with you and you are one with your neighbor and we are all one with God. That’s the gospel! That’s the whole point of Communion or Eucharist; we partake of the bread and wine until they convince us that we are in communion. It seems easier for God to convince bread and wine of their identity than to convince us.
Believe it or not, we’re not here to save our souls. That’s already been done once and for all—in Christ, through Christ, with Christ, and as Christ (see Ephesians 1:3–14). By God’s love, mercy, and grace, we are already the Body of Christ: the one universal body that has existed since the beginning of time. You and I are here for just a few decades, dancing on the stage of life, perhaps taking our autonomous selves far too seriously. That little and clearly imperfect self just cannot believe it could be a child of God. I hope the gospel frees us to live inside of a life that is larger than the one our small selves have imagined. The larger life of the Body of Christ cannot be taken from us. It is the very life of God which cannot be destroyed. [2]
As Thomas Merton wrote in his journal, “We are already one. But we imagine that we are not. And what we have to recover is our original unity. What we have to be is what we are.” [3]
[1] Adapted from Richard Rohr, Emotional Sobriety: Rewiring Our Programs for “Happiness” (Albuquerque, NM: Center for Action and Contemplation, 2011), webcast. Available as MP3 audio download.
[2] Adapted from Richard Rohr, “There Is Only One Suffering; There Is Only One Happiness,” homily, September 13, 2015.
[3] Thomas Merton, The Asian Journal of Thomas Merton, ed. Naomi Burton, Patrick Hart, James Laughlin (New York: New Directions, 1973), 308. Rohr’s emphasis.
11-22-23 – Seagull on a Dock
As I prepare for Thanksgiving Day in America, it’s helpful to remind myself that everything in life matters. I hope you enjoy the holidays ahead. I hope you enjoy the poem below.

photo by author
SEAGULL ON A DOCK by Patrick J Cole
You may see the bird,
or the many posts beyond it.
You may even see the harbor shoreline not that far ahead
or the ripples on the water below
or heavily clouded sky above.
But, if you don’t know me by now,
I see the birdshit splotches.
White artwork on the dock
that tells me this is real.
No lotus without the mud.
No seagull without the birdshit.
No love without grief.
No joy without suffering.
