Tag Archives: mindfulness

Not Unmanly to Cry – Daily Stoic

Ryan Holiday of Daily Stoic has a great new book that just came out: RIGHT THING, RIGHT NOW. He also continues to share his Daily Stoic message free to all. Today’s message can be found here: dailystoic.com/are-you-allowed-to-cry/

Yes, it’s not unmanly to cry. Here’s Holiday’s pearl of wisdom of today:

A Stoic is invulnerable. A Stoic is tough. A Stoic is emotionless. A Stoic doesn’t—can’t—cry, right? Well, Marcus Aurelius sure seemed to think otherwise.​

Here we have him weeping over the death of a beloved tutor (let the boy be human, Antoninus said when someone tried to stop him). Here we have him breaking down at the thought of becoming emperor. Here we have him crying over the loss of so many during the plague. Here we have him tearing up at the assassinated body of his rival, Avidius Cassius, mourning the murdered opportunity to grant the man clemency.

The point is: Marcus Aurelius didn’t see any contradiction with these shows of emotion. He didn’t think it was unmanly to be sad or to mourn. In fact, the only time we do have Marcus talking about an emotion not being “manly” is in reference to losing your temper. (We have a great Daily Stoic course on “taming your temper,” by the way).

Besides that, the Stoics would say it’s OK to let it out sometimes. Don’t feel bad if that’s what you need. Life can be a bit of a pressure cooker at times, and like an actual pressure cooker, you’ve got to hit the release valve every so often so that the whole thing doesn’t explode in your face. You’re only human. So be human—not just once, but all the time—and let yourself feel.”

Ox-herding 7

“In the long run, both a peaceful mind and harmonious behavior are essential. Cultivating the mind will eventually lead to cultivating ethical behavior, and cultivating ethical behavior will support cultivating the mind. This is likely to be an iterative process rather than first one thing then the other.”

Lynn J Kelly does it again!

Check out the link below for another informative and provocative post.

Necessary Doubt

“An open mind is a strong mind … our doubting and questioning spur us on and keep us intellectually alert and can help us develop confidence in our innate qualities.”

Senior teacher, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo encourages us to live our lives with a question mark and to not settle for blind faith. Instead, we can experience our faith firsthand and not be content with what other people think or describe.

I hope you enjoy excerpts from the provocative Tricycle article below,

Necessary Doubt

Ani Tenzin Palmo teaches that a questioning mind is essential to the Buddhist path.

By Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo SUMMER 2002

we have a tendency to regard doubt as something shameful, almost as an enemy. We feel that if we have doubts, it means that we are denying the teachings and that we should really have unquestioning faith.

Referring to the dharma, the Buddha said, “come and see,” or “come and investigate,” not “come and believe.”

A famous sutra tells of a group of villagers who came to visit the Buddha. They said to him, “Many teachers come through here. Each has his own doctrine. Each claims that his particular philosophy and practice is the truth, but they all contradict each other. Now we’re totally confused. What do we do?” Doesn’t this story sound modern? Yet this was twenty-five hundred years ago. Same problems.

The Buddha replied, “You have a right to be confused. This is a confusing situation. Do not take anything on trust merely because it has passed down through tradition, or because your teachers say it, or because your elders have taught you, or because it’s written in some famous scripture. When you have seen it and experienced it for yourself to be right and true, then you can accept it.”

We need to be patient. We should not expect to understand the profound expositions of an enlightened mind in our first encounter with them.

Our doubting and questioning spur us on and keep us intellectually alert.

instead of suppressing the questions, I brought up the things I questioned and examined them one by one. When I came out the other end, I realized that it simply didn’t matter. We can be quite happy with a question mark.

We need to know what great teachers in the past have said, because they have been there ahead of us and have laid down maps for us to follow.

Following the path is about experiencing it for ourselves. It’s not taking on what other people have described. It’s not based on blind faith.

Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo is the current president of the Sakyadhita International Association of Buddhist Women. She is one of the first Westerners to be ordained as a Buddhist nun and the founder of the Dongyu Gatsal Ling Nunnery in India.

Daily Thoughts & Rehearsing Suffering

Woke up this morning in a sunny disposition

but then read my email, the forecast, news highlights and social media.

Truly, we are bombarded daily with thoughts that are not of our own making:

  • Am I safe?
  • Am I lovable?
  • Do I matter?

How we handle these thoughts is critical to our mental and physical health. What options do we really have?

Below are two excerpts that have helped me better understand where many thoughts come from and how they may affect us.


How Many Ads Do We See Daily?

It is estimated that an adult in a metropolitan area may see anywhere from 50 to 400 advertisements per day1Digital marketing experts estimate that most Americans are exposed to around 4,000 to 10,000 ads each day2Folks from marketing firm Yankelovich, Inc. estimate that the average modern person is exposed to around 5,000 ads per day3An average modern individual is estimated to see 300-700 ad messages per day4. thedrum.com


Rehearsing Suffering

A major obstacle … is the tendency of our mind to get stuck in negative thinking. The mind “rehearses” the scenarios that bother us, ultimately because it wants to resolve the problem and to find a way out. Unfortunately, it may get stuck … repeating the same track ceaselessly.

The mind has been likened to a search engine—you (start with one) thought and it gives you other thoughts related to it. (For example,) if we keep harboring hateful thoughts—even if we don’t act on them—they may lead to more hate and violence. …

Everything we routinely do can be understood as practicing and rehearsing. … In neuroscience, it is known that neurons that “fire together wire together.” ….

When you do or say something negatively the first time, you may feel bad about it, but the second time it may already feel less unsettling. You may tell yourself “You’re not worthy,” — the first time you do it, it is a shock. But the second time you may feel less bad. And then the behavior may become a habit. Every time you get angry, you punch the wall. It can become uncontrollable. A habit becomes a personality, which then determines the course of your life and destiny. …

For those who tend to be gloomy and in despair easily, compounded with the suffering of the past, our habitual mood makes it even more difficult to handle and transform the situation. … It takes a lot of courage to release and let go of our negativity.”

Excerpt adapted from Flowers in the Dark: Reclaiming Your Power to Heal Trauma through Mindfulness by Sister Dang Nghiem © 2021 by Sister Dang Nghiem. Reprinted in arrangement with Parallax PressFor the full article see: tricycle.org/article/sister-dang-nghiem-suffering/


What are you thinking today?

Mar 15 – Two Types of Ancestors

Sister Annabel Laity – author at the Plum Village Shop plumvillage.shop

In her book, Mindfulness – Walking with Jesus and Buddha (c) 2021, Sister Annabel Laity identifies the two types of ancestors:

“Our blood ancestors are not the only source of our lives. We also have spiritual ancestors who transmit to us the spiritual direction that our life takes … Our blood ancestors are one of our roots, and our spiritual ancestors are no less important a root … Mindful of our blood and our spiritual ancestors, we shall see their qualities that we want to continue, and we shall also see their shortcomings. We cannot reject our ancestors, because of their mistaken ways. Who are we, who are by no means perfect, to do that? … We accept all our ancestors as they are, and we feel well because, by accepting them, we are accepting ourselves.pp. 116-117

Today’s senryu: Two Types of Ancestors

Dearest sister and

crazy old uncle Friedrich,

did God really die?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thus_Spoke_Zarathustra

Nietzsche dismissed Schopenhauer and Christianity and Buddhism as pessimistic and nihilistic, but, according to Benjamin A. Elman, “[w]hen understood on its own terms, Buddhism cannot be dismissed as pessimistic or nihilistic“. Moreover, answers which Nietzsche assembled to the questions he was asking, not only generally but also in Zarathustra, put him “very close to some basic doctrines found in Buddhism”. An example is when Zarathustra says that “the soul is only a word for something about the body“. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thus_Spoke_Zarathustra

Jan 31 – It’s all in your state of mind

Why pay attention to what’s in your mind? Why become more acquainted with your thoughts? Why practice Mindfulness?

Here’s a response from a poet for whom little is known yet his words from 1905 still inspire today.

Thinking by Walter D. Wintle

“If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don’t,
If you like to win, but you think you can’t
It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”
― Walter D. Wintlehttps://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/mindfulness

For a brief inspirational video see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZnxUdke3TQ

I would love to hear a nongender rendition someday.

Jan 30 – Benefits of Mindfulness

There are many benefits to the practice of Mindfulness. The excerpts below come from a more comprehensive article, if you’re interested. Check it out here:(https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/benefits-of-mindfulness.htm). Hopefully this brief introduction will encourage you.

“Practices for Improving Emotional and Physical Well-Being

Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment—and accepting it without judgment. Mindfulness is now being examined scientifically and has been found to be a key element in stress reduction and overall happiness.

What are the benefits of mindfulness?

Professor emeritus Jon Kabat-Zinn helped to bring the practice of mindfulness meditation into mainstream medicine and demonstrated that practicing mindfulness can bring improvements in both physical and psychological symptoms as well as positive changes in health, attitudes, and behaviors.

Mindfulness improves well-being. 

Mindfulness improves physical health. 

Mindfulness improves mental health. In recent years, psychotherapists have turned to mindfulness meditation as an important element in the treatment of a number of problems, including depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, couples’ conflicts, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Mindfulness techniques

There is more than one way to practice mindfulness, but the goal of any mindfulness technique is to achieve a state of alert, focused relaxation by deliberately paying attention to thoughts and sensations without judgment. This allows the mind to refocus on the present moment. All mindfulness techniques are a form of meditation.

Basic mindfulness meditation – Sit quietly and focus on your natural breathing or on a word or “mantra” that you repeat silently. Allow thoughts to come and go without judgment and return to your focus on breath or mantra.

Body sensations – Notice subtle body sensations such as an itch or tingling without judgment and let them pass. Notice each part of your body in succession from head to toe.

Sensory – Notice sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touches. Name them “sight,” “sound,” “smell,” “taste,” or “touch” without judgment and let them go.

Emotions – Allow emotions to be present without judgment. Practice a steady and relaxed naming of emotions: “joy,” “anger,” “frustration.” Accept the presence of the emotions without judgment and let them go.

Getting started

Mindfulness meditation builds upon concentration practices. Here’s how it works:

Go with the flow. In mindfulness meditation, once you establish concentration, you observe the flow of inner thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations without judging them as good or bad.

Pay attention. You also notice external sensations such as sounds, sights, and touch that make up your moment-to-moment experience. The challenge is not to latch onto a particular idea, emotion, or sensation, or to get caught in thinking about the past or the future. Instead, you watch what comes and goes in your mind and discover which mental habits produce a feeling of well-being or suffering.

Stay with it. At times, this process may not seem relaxing at all, but over time it provides a key to greater happiness and self-awareness as you become comfortable with a wider and wider range of your experiences.

Practice acceptance

Above all, mindfulness practice involves accepting whatever arises in your awareness at each moment. It involves being kind and forgiving toward yourself.

Some tips to keep in mind:

Gently redirect. If your mind wanders into planning, daydreaming, or criticism, notice where it has gone and gently redirect it to sensations in the present.

Try and try again. If you miss your intended meditation session, simply start again.

By practicing accepting your experience during meditation, it becomes easier to accept whatever comes your way during the rest of your day.

Cultivate mindfulness informally

In addition to formal meditation, you can also cultivate mindfulness informally by focusing your attention on your moment-to-moment sensations during everyday activities. This is done by single-tasking—doing one thing at a time and giving it your full attention. As you floss your teeth, pet the dog, or eat an apple, slow down the process and be fully present as it unfolds and involves all of your senses.

Invest in yourself

The effects of mindfulness meditation tend to be dose-related — the more you do, the more effect it usually has. Most people find that it takes at least 20 minutes for the mind to begin to settle, so this is a reasonable way to start. If you’re ready for a more serious commitment, Jon Kabat-Zinn recommends 45 minutes of meditation at least six days a week. But you can get started by practicing the techniques described here for shorter periods.

Adapted with permission from Positive Psychology: Harnessing the Power of Happiness, Personal Strength, and Mindfulnessa special health report published by Harvard Health Publishing.

Last updated: December 5, 2022

Jan 3 – Contemplation – Mindfulness by Another Name

This week I am focusing on mindfulness aka contemplation or meditation. Today, I focus on Richard Rohr‘s 90-minute video offering a Christian perspective of contemplation. Here are the top 10 key highlights for me:

  1. the quicker we let go of ego and move beyond a positive self-image, the quicker we realize that we are spiritual beings learning how to be fully human
  2. religion is both the best and worst thing in the world if we never transform beyond our ego
  3. Christianity is simply learning how to lose graciously; a Christian is someone who has met one
  4. We shouldn’t say prayers; rather we should be one
  5. it’s right relationship over correct performance
  6. move beyond limousine liberal imaging
  7. how you do anything (in the present moment) is how you do everything
  8. the first half of any contemplative sit is seeing our own “garbage” and hopefully the second half is letting it go to reconnect with present moment awareness
  9. to observe is far more effective than attacking
  10. the most radical thing we can do is contemplation

Finally, I especially appreciated Rohr’s summation that we should not confuse meeting attendance or group membership with transformation. The bigger picture of contemplation is not to get hung up on posture, process or programs. Contemplation is about reconnecting with our higher power and recognizing our relationship with everyone and everything.

Today’s senryu: A Rose Is a Rose …

no navel-gazing

let your ego go and then

reconnect with love

Jan 2 – Meditation Is Free(ing)

If you’re looking for something new to help you focus and feel more peaceful this year, then consider mindfulness meditation. You don’t have to adopt a new religion to do this. Contemplation is something found across religions and secular psychological traditions and there are many simple ways to learn about this calming practice.

For example, check out the free daily teaching from Tricycle Magazine this month; find more information below.

Today’s senryu: Meditation Is Free(ing)

no navel-gazing,

simply calming down to live

this present moment