What if every word you said, every gesture you made, revealed your true intentions? The Tricycle article reposted below says the answer to that question is an important step in our own personal development.

This somewhat lengthy article is well worth your time if you’re one of those people prone to self-deception. I know that’s something I need to work on. How about you?

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Your Life Is a Mirror

Venerated lama and spiritual teacher Khangser Rinpoche expounds on how to break free of the mind’s habitual tendency towards self-deception.

By Khangser Rinpoche  JUN 21, 2024

Your life is a mirror reflecting the state of your inner world.

To see clearly you must first polish your mirror to clear it of what distorts the truth: your obscuring self-deception.

no longer looking at the reflection in the bathroom mirror, he was looking at himself in a different way: inner reflection.

Self-improvement starts with breaking self-deception and learning to face the truth. You must honestly witness, then evaluate, how your mental, emotional, and behavioral actions obscure the truth.

It’s much easier for you to point out areas where other people can improve rather than seeing your own flaws. This is how it usually is. You have difficulty looking at your imperfections, so you tell yourself lies,

Start by Being Honest

When you encounter a situation where there is no way for you to tell the truth, it is better to just stay silent.

Even if you can’t eliminate lies completely, at least try to reduce their frequency.

Break Subconscious Habits

Your past shapes your perception of the present.

You are not who you think you are—you’ve formed a lot of subconscious habits over the years that are probably unknown to you. That’s why you need the input of those you trust, and you need to pay close attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behavior. If you can’t see your flaws, there is no self-improvement. 

Keep an Open Mind

Your ego has a way of obscuring areas you struggle with, so you must make certain to consider other people’s feedback about you. It’s not easy to see your own issues, you need a good, honest person to tell you about them.

You are not who you think you are

When you receive unpleasant feedback, try to resist the impulse to defend yourself with lies or get angry. Don’t dirty up your mirror with denial. Self-improvement is one of the most important aspects of your life, but to do it properly you need a clear mirror—you need honest feedback. 

Study Cause and Effect

We drum up supernatural ways of eliminating our issues instead of taking personal accountability for them.

Blame sullies your mirror of self-reflection. Instead, focus on accepting the reality of the problem and do what you can realistically do now.

Every kind of suffering can be remedied. To do that you must first clearly understand that there is no such thing as causeless suffering. When you know that wholesome activities have beneficial effects and unwholesome actions have unbeneficial results, you can then choose the best course of action for yourself. This means you have a measure of control over your destiny. 

Examine Your Motives

getting to the truth is tricky

Honesty is a matter of motive

Which is more honest: truth in words or truth in motive? When you want to give up self-deception in favor of self-knowledge, consider the reason why you’re doing what you’re doing.

Remember that life is like a mirror: everything you perceive reflects your inner world. Cleaning your dirty mirror of distorting smudges means clearing self-deception and coming closer to the truth.

This article was excerpted and adapted from A Monk’s Guide to Finding Joy: How to Train Your Mind and Transform Your Life by Khangser Rinpoche, © Wisdom Publications July 2, 2024. Reprinted in arrangement with Wisdom Publications.