Author Archives: Patrick Cole

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About Patrick Cole

Husband, parent and writer. Sharing stories with a little humor and wisdom along the way.

Repost of today’s Nouwen Meditation: Patience

Patience

March 11, 2023

The mother of expectation is patience. The French author Simone Weil writes in her notebooks: “Waiting patiently in expectation is the foundation of the spiritual life.” Without patience our expectation degenerates into wishful thinking. Patience comes from the word patior, which means “to suffer.” The first thing that Jesus promises is suffering: “I tell you . . . you will be weeping and wailing . . . and you will be sorrowful.” But he calls these birth pains. And so, what seems a hindrance becomes a way; what seems an obstacle becomes a door; what seems a misfit becomes a cornerstone. Jesus changes our history from a random series of sad incidents and accidents into a constant opportunity for a change of heart. To wait patiently, therefore, means to allow our weeping and wailing to become the purifying preparation by which we are made ready to receive the joy that is promised to us.

https://henrinouwen.org/meditation/

Mar 11 – Our True Self or 1+1+1

Ilia Delio, Chair in Theology at Villanova University, shares how Thomas Merton informed herstory in Discovering the true self in God with Merton’s guidance. (See https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/ncr-today/discovering-true-self-god-mertons-guidance). Delio begins by quoting Merton and then elaborates:

“‘Our vocation is not simply to be, but to work together with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny.

The search for true identity requires an honest self-love. Love of self is not selfishness but a humble recognition of our lives as true, good and beautiful. Without real love of self, all other loves are distorted. “

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marybeth-weiss/

Marybeth Weiss, VP for People & Culture, has a related message in her article, There Is No “I” in Team, but There Is a “Me”: Building a Better Team Starting with You. (See https://trainingindustry.com/articles/strategy-alignment-and-planning/there-is-no-i-in-team-but-there-is-a-me-building-a-better-team-starting-with-you/). Weiss offers:

“If we rely on stories to drive behavior, we can’t accomplish anything, and relationships deteriorate … Teams can only grow and flourish from the hunger and drive of each individualTeam success isn’t always about what the group does but how each member contributes.

Today’s senryu: our true self

one plus one plus one

equals infinity – yes,

we’re more, together

Feb 10 – Why Wait?

Are you ever impatient with impermanence? Does time marching on ever bring solace? Is life itself exasperating? Just three questions on a Friday morning resulting in three senryus linked below.

Today’s linked senryus: Why Wait?

At your service or

at your mercy – I’m tired;

tired of waiting …

Godot or Bardot

daydreams no longer work – I’m

tired of waiting …

Time is not my friend

I know I am breathing – so?

tired of waiting …

The Knowing – Doing Gap

Today’s senryu: The Knowing – Doing Gap

I know what to do

but have not done it just yet.

Do I really know?

I’m listening to Bhikkhu Bodhi‘s audio book The Noble Eightfold Path – The Way to the End of Suffering (c) 1984. Here are a couple of early passages:

“It would be pointless to pose the question which of the two aspects of the Dhamma has greater value, the doctrine or the path. But if we did risk the pointless by asking that question, the answer would have to be the path. The path claims primacy because it is precisely this that brings the teaching to life. The path translates the Dhamma from a collection of abstract formulas into a continually unfolding disclosure of truth. It gives an outlet from the problem of suffering with which the teaching starts. And it makes the teaching’s goal, liberation from suffering, accessible to us in our own experience, where alone it takes on authentic meaning.

To follow the Noble Eightfold Path is a matter of practice rather than intellectual knowledge, but to apply the path correctly it has to be properly understood. In fact, right understanding of the path is itself a part of the practice. It is a facet of right view, the first path factor, the forerunner and guide for the rest of the path. Thus, though initial enthusiasm might suggest that the task of intellectual comprehension may be shelved as a bothersome distraction, mature consideration reveals it to be quite essential to ultimate success in the practice.

The search for a spiritual path is born out of suffering. It does not start with lights and ecstasy, but with the hard tacks of pain, disappointment, and confusion. However, for
suffering to give birth to a genuine spiritual search, it must amount to more than something passively received.”

From another perspective, I’m fond of the book The Knowing-Doing Gap by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I. Sutton (c) 2000 where the authors explain knowing comes from doing and teaching others how … in a world of conceptual frameworks, fancy graphics presentations, and, in general, lots of words, there is much too little appreciation for the power, and indeed the necessity, of not just talking and thinking but of doing – and this includes explaining and teaching – as a way of knowing.”

The book goes on to quote a senior executive who says, “Where we go from an awareness state to a real knowledge is where we have problems. We are aware of it but we don’t have the knowledge because we’ve never had to teach it or implement it. And I see that’s a huge gap.” p. 248-249

Can we ever truly know without actually doing something with that knowledge?

Kindness

Another great post from Lynn J Kelly.

lynnjkelly's avatarThe Buddha's Advice to Laypeople

Gil Fronsdal has a wonderful series of published talks called “The Issue at Hand”.  The following is from Chapter 6: Heartfelt Practice –

Whatever a mother, father
Or other relative may do,
Far better is the benefit
From one’s own rightly directed mind.– Dhammapada 43

The English word “mindfulness” is the usual translation for the Pali word sati. Most generally, sati means to hold something in awareness. When the Chinese translated Indian Buddhist terms into Chinese characters, sati became a character with two halves: the top half is the character for  “the present moment” and the bottom half is the character for “heart.” The combination suggests that mindfulness is connected to the heart, to being “heartfelt in the present moment.” It points to the possibility of holding our experience in our hearts, to having an accepting, soft, and spacious awareness toward whatever is occurring. …

Many of…

View original post 341 more words

Feb 8 – Stream of Consciousness

The Tibetan singing bell invites us to relax … the facilitator invites us to be calm and quiet our mind … and then the trip begins.

when was the first time I meditated? Oh yeah, 8th grade, Sister Del Rey, at that parochial school in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin, what was its name? …. Oh well, can’t remember everything …

it was a homework assignment: find a quiet place and let your mind float …

I remember a green jade Buddha statue floating … I wasn’t attending a Buddhist school … ha!

was it 30 minutes, I’m sure I’m exaggerating, probably only 15 at most … must write down what thoughts come and go during this experiment … I only remember that floating Buddha today, but I also remember feeling refreshed afterward even after all these years

thoughts come and go like clouds on a windy day … oh, Thay’ you made this Zen Buddhist thing so easy for us

it was maybe fifteen years later that my significant other (now my second wife of many years) invited me to try TM … transcendental meditation … that was a nice experience … I even purchased a mantra … did that for a while but

something about Zen Buddhism … Thomas Merton … D. T. Suzuki … Thich Nhat Hanh … sangha … bellmaster …

Wow! twenty-five minutes really flies when …

_/\_

Feb 7 – A Heart of Flesh (1, 2, 3, Infinity)

Today’s senryu: Heart of Flesh

First heart of gold then

a greater truth – heart of flesh.

I and Thou are All

———————————————–

Neal Young sings of his search for a Heart of Gold while racing against the time of getting old. (See https://genius.com/Neil-young-heart-of-gold-lyrics)

Martin Buber‘s explains in, I and Thou, that “human life finds its meaningfulness in relationships.”(See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_and_Thou)

https://joanchittister.org/

Joan Chittister‘s book, Heart of Flesh, broadens these concepts to say that “the full humanity of women, leads all of us to new, better ways of being and relating.” (See https://joanchittister.org/books-page/heart-flesh-feminist-spirituality-women-and-men)

The feminist image of God is humble and feeling, nonviolent and empowering. Jesus, the feminist image of God, cures and loves, is vulnerable and receptive, laughs and dances at wedding feasts, cries tears and feels pain. This glimpse of God is the glimpse of otherness at its ultimate. It is in this model of otherness that the feminist puts hope for equality, for recognition, for respect, for the end of the sexism …

The world needs the voice of this otherness in order to hear the cries of the whole human race. The world needs the presence of otherness to redeem it from its headlong plunge for profit, power, comfort, control, individualism, and dominance. The world needs respect for this otherness, not simply patronizing approval.

 —from Heart of Flesh: A Feminist Spirituality for Women and Menby Joan Chittister (Eerdmans)

Yin, Yang, Qi, All

Perhaps another equation worth considering comes from the Tao Te Ching, verse 42:

Tao gives birth to One,
One gives birth to Two,
The Two gives birth to Three,
The Three gives birth to all universal things.
All universal things shoulder the Yin and embrace the Yang.
The Yin and Yang mingle and mix with each other to beget the harmony.

https://www.learnreligions.com/tao-te-ching-verse-42-3183165

Feb 6 – Infected Sooner or Later

In her book When Society Becomes an Addict (c) 1987, author Anne Wilson Schaef, writes, “any addictive system is contagious, and those who live within it become infected with the disease sooner or later. The dynamics and patterns are the same for those infected as they are for the alcoholic.” p.12

Schaef continues, “it is rare for a person to have only one addiction. Instead, the addictive person, or the individual operating within the addictive system, usually has multiple addictions. These work to trap the person in the Addictive System. … I am talking about a whole system that has such elements as confused, alcoholic thinking (‘stinkin’ thinkin’), dishonesty, self-centeredness, dependency, and the need for control at its core. Individuals functioning within an addictive system exhibit these characteristics even when they are not personally abusing drink or drugs. … the primary addictions in the Addictive System are the addictions to powerlessness and nonliving, and that all secondary addictions lead to these two primary addictions” p.13 – 16

Today’s senryu: Infected Sooner or Later

sick of sickness and

trying to get well are hard

when zombies prevail

Feb 5 – Gotta Serve Somebody

As Dylan’s first release during his “gospel” period, “Gotta Serve Somebody” was met with divisive reviews; John Lennon famously criticized the song and wrote a parody titled “Serve Yourself” in response. Nevertheless, the single won the Grammy for Best Rock Vocal Performance by a Male in 1980. … Cash Box said that the “bluesy instrumentals” were the song’s highlight and that “Dylan avoids a preachy tone with humorous asides.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gotta_Serve_Somebody

Yesterday’s blog Living In-Between was a difficult message directed at myself. It is something I needed. I shared it with you in case it might be of help to someone you know.

Upon second thought, I realize that some messages are best kept to oneself, at least until you’ve had more time to consider the possible consequences for putting those words out into the world.

Here’s two more thoughts on yesterday’s blog:

  1. Thich Nhat Hanh taught that it’s important to look deeply before speaking lovingly. In his book, For A Future to Be Possible, (c) 1993, Thay’ says, “We only need to choose our words carefully, and we can make other people happy. To use words mindfully, with loving kindness, is to practice generosity.” p. 41
  2. For some reason, my favorite verse of this Dylan song is #5. It always makes me smile 🙂

Gotta Serve Somebody en.wikipedia.org

Living In-Between

James Hollis, PhD, Jungian analyst and author of Living Between Worlds (c) 2020 with Sounds True, tells us that, “All of us are the humble carriers of the spark of life and … Life is not here to serve us; we are here to serve life.” p. 132

Hollis continues, “I say to myself these simple six words. You can borrow them if you wish or get your own mantra.

Shut up.

Suit up.

Show up.

The first (two words) tells me to stop whining and complaining. Most of us live privileged lives. Most – not all – of us have food on the table, a roof over our head, and relative security of person. So, stop complaining; simply shut up.

The second tells me to work at what is worthy of my commitment. Get prepared. Do the homework. No excuses for not being ready to take on what the day brings.

The last tells me that we all have to show up – that is, just do our best. Throw ourselves into it. No one is perfect; no one is ever finished; no one ever gets out of this life alive. Just do it as well as you can. That is all anyone can ask; that is all history asks.

Try to forgive yourself from time to time along the way. Life is here to be served. It is all a blooming mystery, and we will never figure it out. (And don’t pay attention to to any of those palookas who tell you they have.) But one thing is clear: we are here to bring our selves, our best selves, to this troubled orb plunging through oceans of space. …

So, how can we find our way, make the right choices? Sometimes we just can’t, and we have to live in the midst of the very uncomfortable for a very long time, until something unexpected appears from within.” pp. 132 – 133

Hollis says a lot more that is well worth reading. I simply wanted to share these passages above because they speak to the in-between state that I’m feeling today.

So, here’s today’s senryu: Living In-Between

big change is coming

I’m trying to prepare but

not sure what for. Shhhh.