“The true division of humanity,” Victor Hugo wrote in Les Miserables, “is between those who live in light and those who live in darkness.” Victor Hugo, it seems, understood Easter.
We love to think of Easter as the feast of dazzling light. We get up on Easter Sunday morning knowing that the sorrow of Good Friday is finally ended, that the pain of the cross has been compensated for by a burst of brilliant victory from the gates of the grave, that Jesus is vindicated, that the faith of the disciples is confirmed for all to see, and that everyone lived happily ever after. We love fairy tales. Unfortunately, Easter is not one of them.
On the contrary, Easter is raw reality. Easter stands in stark witness, not to the meaning of death, but to the meaning of what it is to go on despite death, in the face of death—because of death. To celebrate Easter means to stand in the light of the empty tomb and decide what to do next. Until we come to realize that, we stand to misread the meaning not simply of the Easter gospel but of our own lives. We miss the point. We make Easter an historical event rather than a life-changing commitment. We fail to realize that Easter demands as much of us now as it did of the apostles then.
Most of all we miss the very meaning of the Easters that we are dealing with in our own lives, in our own time.
Easter is the feast that gives meaning to life. It is the feast that never ends. After Easter, the tomb stands open for all of us to enter. If Jesus is risen, then you and I have no choice but to go into the tomb, put on the leftover garments ourselves, and follow Jesus back to Galilee where the poor cry for food and the sick beg to be taken to the pool and the blind wait for the spittle on their eyes to dry. All the fidelity in the world will not substitute for leaving the tomb and beginning the journey all over again. Today. Every day. Always.
That’s what Easter is really about. It is the “division of humanity” to which Hugo refers in his dramatic rendering of the struggle between light and dark. Yes, Easter is about dazzling light—but only if it shines through us.
—In the Light of the Messengers: Lenten reflectionsby Joan Chittister,OSB
Met a wonderful therapist at the Humane Society US Animal Care Expo last week, Jen Blough; a sister Michigander and animal lover. Her website is https://www.animalwelfarewellness.com/ and her clinic is called Deepwater Consulting.
Below is one of her blogposts and I highly recommend learning more about Jen, her books and her services.
Man’s Best…Therapist? Exploring the Health Benefits of Animals
When we live with, care for, work with, and protect animals, we often find ourselves forming deep attachments to them. This special connection, known as the human-animal bond, is described by the American Veterinary Medical Association as a “mutual beneficial and dynamic relationship between people and other animals that is influenced by behaviors that are essential to the health and well-being of both.”
Benefits of the Human-Animal Bond
People are forming friendships with all creatures great and small in some rather unlikely places – zoos, hospitals, and even prisons. More than 90 percent of zookeepers, for example, report having a bond with one or more animals in their care. Sharing the company of birds helps older patients in skilled rehab facilities battle loneliness and depression while boosting morale. Providing aquariums full of fish for dementia patients promotes healthy eating habits, sociability, and relaxation. Prison programs are becoming increasingly popular, offering second chances to inmates and animals alike. From dogs and horses that need socialization to injured, sick, or orphaned wildlife, animals all of kinds are receiving comfort and care in the confinements of prison walls, and returning the favor by providing inmates with a purpose.
Research has only begun to uncover the myriad of psychological, physiological, and social benefits from human-animal interactions. Did you know that petting a dog, for instance, has been shown to reduce blood pressure in people – as well as in the pooches? In addition to helping us calm down, our critters can decrease our heart rate and cholesterol levels and boost our immune system. And forget fad diets and magic weight loss pills. When it comes to the battle of the bulge, nothing beats man’s best friend. A study by the National Institutes of Health revealed that those who walked their dogs on a regular basis were more active, less obese, and even more social. Animals promote healing in hospitalized children, aid adults coping with chronic health conditions such as cancer, and bring peace to those near the end of life in hospice care by alleviating anxiety and decreasing discomfort. As you can see, animals have an amazing ability to heal us throughout our lifespans:
Pets can help children develop motor skills, self-confidence, and empathy.
Children often see their pets as companions, even siblings. In withdrawn or shy children, sometimes a pet is the only companion.
Companion animals provide affection.
They promote opportunities to exercise, play, and socialize.
Pets allow us to love and nurture something – leading to enhanced self-esteem.
Companion animals are dependent on us, creating caregiving opportunities.
Pets can offer stability and support in difficult situations such as a divorce or move.
They can serve as an extension (eyes, ears, or legs) for those with physical impairments.
Pets can be a lifeline for people with terminal illnesses.
For the elderly especially, pets can provide a sense of purpose.
Companion animals provide something humans cannot — unconditional love.
“Breathwork refers to any breathing exercise or technique. People often perform them to improve mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. During breathwork, you intentionally change your breathing pattern.
Many forms of breathwork therapy involve breathing in a conscious and systematic way. Many people find breathwork promotes deep relaxation or leaves them feeling energized.” http://www.healthline.com/health/breathwork
One of my early morning sessions yesterday at the 2023 HSUS Animal Care Expo was the Benefits of Breathwork for Animal People offered by Katya Lidsky, Writer, Life Coach for Dog People, and podcaster for Somebody Save Me! I loved her metaphor of seeing our breath as a bat signal revealing our values, thoughts and actions. Becoming more conscious of how we breathe and focusing our breath more purposefully can achieve better results for ourselves and those around us.
As Katya explains, “I think of Breathwork as ‘active meditation.’ It has done so much to shift and improve my life that I got certified as a Breathwork Facilitator … I get to focus on the power of it, the love of it, and give it away.
If you work in animal welfare as a rescuer, at the animal shelter, behind the desk at a nonprofit organization, or simply identity as an animal lover, I specialize in supporting you … I am open to supporting anybody because I believe that breathwork can help everybody.
Breathwork is a wellness tool … try it!”
I totally agree with Katya and encourage you to check out her website, podcast and her next presentation or training session near you.
I attended a powerful session yesterday on the importance of remembering all the change that’s been accomplished to-date and moving forward more skillfully when discerning how these changes were made. Bernard Unti, PhD of Philosophy from the American University provided a rich history of animal protection progress starting in Europe and then through the U.S. Here’s a few highlights of what he said:
“Organized animal protection is now 200 years old … skillful use of our history can help us engage more supporters in the future.” Dr. Bernard Unti, presented on the four key themes from a historical and contemporary perspective and showed how these themes have led to real (but not-yet-complete) improvement in our human-animal relations.
The four themes are:
relationship between cruelty to animals and interpersonal violence (e.g., how we treat non-human animals leads to how we treat fellow humans – beat your animals = beat your spouse, kids, elders, …)
connection between animal causes and other social justice causes (e.g., temperance, feminism, work safety …)
social values and communicating change (e.g., Black Beauty, Be Kind to Animals Week, Scouting …)
Bottom line: change comes from communicatingwhat we are for versus what we are against and wear our values gracefully (i.e., recognize incremental improvement and patiently win one person at a time).”
It’s Spring and I’m exploring the many types of deep friendships we encounter during our life. One reference I just discovered is reposted below from, believe it or not, the Brides website: written by Christine Coppa and referencing Dr. Michael Tobin.
Today’s senryu: Soul Friends and Soulmates
who are we today
who reminds us we are one
let’s begin anew
I’m interested in your comments on this topic. Do you have a soul friend and/or mate?
The idea of meeting your soulmate is the glorious stuff of rom-coms—and apparently real-life, everyday people, too.
What Is a Soulmate
According to Dr. Michael Tobin, a soulmate is someone who you feel deeply connected to, but not in a dependent or needy way. The guiding principle in a relationship between soulmates is that needs are equally met because a soulmate relationship should challenge you to move from selfishness to giving.
“It’s the realization that this person who shares your life is a part of yourself,” says family and marital psychologist Dr. Michael Tobin. “A soulmate is an individual that has a lasting impact on your life. Your soulmate is your fellow traveler on the journey of life—you need one another to grow beyond the limitations of your individual selves.”
If you’re wondering if you’ve met your soulmate—or are currently with your unique flame, Dr. Tobin has optimistic news for you: “I believe everyone could discover their soulmate. However, to find your soulmate, you must first understand that humans are not meant to be alone and that the purpose of a relationship is not merely to get our individual needs met—but rather as a challenge to grow—and to help our partners reach their potential.”
As for when you might meet your particular person, Dr. Tobin saysthat there isn’t a perfect age or life stage for discovering your soulmate—and that is exciting news. “I know a 74-year-old woman who reconnected with her high school flame after a 56-year separation. She calls him her soulmate. They were meant to be together during the later years of their lives.”
You might be wondering if you met your soulmate on a vacation, subway stop, or that time in the rain when a stranger invited you to share an umbrella—but didn’t realize it at the time. According to Dr. Tobin, yes, this is possible. “Everything in life is about timing. I believe it’s a matter of self-knowledge. When you understand that a relationship is not about control or the simple need of fulfillment but is essential to our psychological and spiritual development, then you’re open to the possibility of meeting your soulmate.”
If you’re curious about what to do if you feel like you’ve experienced a ships-in-the-night experience, Dr. Tobin suggests embracing it because it may actually have been what he says is known as a “soul crossing.” He explains that this is a brief encounter with someone who crosses our path and has a lasting impact on the direction we choose in life.
Knowing or understanding the signs you met your soulmate is interesting in itself because there isn’t just one generic type of soulmate out there. Most people equate the term “soulmate” with romantic love. Ahead, the types of soulmates that exist and how to know if you’ve found one.
Types of Soulmates
Not all soulmates are the stuff of life-long romance. Here are six different kinds to look out for in your own life.
Romantic Soulmates
“Romantic soulmates ignite one another’s passion throughout their time together,” explains Dr. Tobin. “They have the capacity to bring one another to heights of physical and emotional pleasure.” However, we’ve all experienced breakups, even if we were with someone who hit the hot and heavy marks. “Passion can be a brief flame that burns hot and then extinguishes. For those rare romantic soulmates, the flame burns continuously because they’re both committed to keeping the fire lit throughout their time together.”
Soul Partners
Has it been years since you connected with a friend from elementary school, but when you do, you just click? “A soul partner is that person who you haven’t seen in years, and when you reunite, feel like time and separation have no bearing on the depth of the connection,” explains Dr. Tobin.
Karmic Soulmates
You know you’ve met a karmic soulmate when you’re in sync about common purposes. “You’re both here together to make a difference in the world, and your skills complement one another—you’re ideal partners to fulfill a shared mission.” This kind of relationship doesn’t require love or intimacy and instead relies on putting your best selves forward to achieve something that matters.
Companion Soulmates
This is the yin to your yang, the peanut butter to your jelly—you get it. “Friends are an essential part of our lifetime journey, and those of the soulmate type help us laugh when we’re in pain, nurture us when we’re suffering, flow with us when we’re riding high, challenge us to be real, love us with our warts, and never abandon us in anger. And we do the same with them.”
Kindred Soulmates
You know you’ve found a kindred soulmate when you pretty much agree on all of the small and big stuff. “You love the same things; laugh at the same jokes; agree and disagree with love and affection; compete with gusto but without bitterness or jealousy. These people share the same journey toward truth and love,” Dr. Tobin says.
Soul Contracts
This is an interesting type of soulmate because it’s when two people are bound by a common commitment to speak the truth, be emotionally open with one another, own up to deceits, and be authentic. A soul contract might look like a married couple, where one spouse cheated, but they stay together, not for the kids or appearances but because there’s a deep law of attraction within pulling them together for their lifetime.
Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate
The signs you’ve met your soulmate are kind of infinite and can overlap with the different kinds of soulmates you encounter in your lifetime. Dr. Tobin believes an important truth about relationships is that you have to create love and nurture soulmate connections. “Love isn’t delivered to us because we believe we deserve it. We must work at being loving and then we’ll receive love in return.”
They Give You a Sense of Calm and Storm
He also says that a sense of both calm and storm is an indicator light. “Sometimes a soulmate is here to shake us out of complacency, to challenge us to think and to act differently, to grow beyond our comfort zones. This is never smooth and peaceful. Yet with that same soulmate, there are and will be moments of exquisite connection, serenity, and harmony.”
You Feel One Another’s Pain
Another sign you’ve met your match is the way you react to their pain. “It’s hard to imagine soulmates who don’t bleed with one another, who don’t feel one another’s pain, who are absent of empathy and compassion,” Dr. Tobin says.
As a final note, “Soulmates may be like two strands of spaghetti entangled in such a way that they don’t know where one begins and the other ends,” says Dr. Tobin. And at the same time, some soulmate relationships serve their purpose and expire. The good news is we may all experience a soulmate connection at some point in our life.
On this day in 1941, Virginia Woolf committed suicide by drowning in the river behind her house. She was feeling the return of massive depression. She wrote a love letter/suicide note to her husband. Her writing was often controversial and, so it might be expected, that even her suicide note would be misquoted, misinterpreted and misjudged.
Today’s senryu: Those vs. These Terrible Times
life can be cruel
inside and outside our mind
stop judging – be kind
There’s an excellent piece by Maria Popova on The Marginalian website that provides an explanation of how “self-righteousness is the enemy of compassion.” And, as might be expected, the “self-righteous” ones include so called “Christians” and “journalists.” This piece also recommends the book, Afterwords – Letters on the Death of Virginia Woolf, edited by Sybil Oldfield, (c) 2005, Rutgers University Press
Re-reading Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., (c) 2012 Author’s Official Authoritative Edition, I was reminded that it was time to “raise my sights” from choosing joy to choosing enlightenment.
While both joy and enlightenment are in the “extraordinary outcomes” pinnacle, why stop at joy when there are still two higher vibrations levels available?
Today’s senryu: Levels of Consciousness
getting past my self
we perceive a greater truth:
interbeing Self
May we all be happy, productive, without stress and synchronistically extraordinary.
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.” Spoken by Juliet, Act 2 Scene 2 of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet
“Parker J. Palmer is an American author, educator, and activist who focuses on issues in education, community, leadership, spirituality and social change. He has published ten books and numerous essays and poems and is founder and Senior Partner Emeritus of the Center for Courage and Renewal.”https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parker_Palmer
Only 117 pages, Palmer’s small book, Let Your Life Speak, (c) 2000 by Jossey-Bass, is filled with candor and wisdom about his (and our) search for right livelihood, for a meaningful vocation.
A couple of quotes from this book inspired by his Quaker practice are:
“there is much guidance in what does not and cannot happen in my life as there is in what can and does – maybe more.” p.39
“If I try to be or do something noble that has nothing to do with who I am, I may look good to others and to myself for a while. But the fact that I am exceeding my limits will eventually have consequences. I will distort myself, the other, and our relationship – and may end up doing more damage than if I had never set out to do this particular ‘good’. … It took me a long time to understand that although everyone needs to be loved, I cannot be the source of that gift to everyone who asks me for it. There are some relations in which I am capable of love and others in which I am not. To pretend otherwise, to put out promissory notes I am unable to honor, is to damage my own integrity and that of the person in need.” pp.47-48
“We can make choices about what we are going to project, and with those choices we help grow the world … Our complicity in world making is a source of awesome and sometimes painful responsibility – and a source of profound hope for change.” p.78
“Spring teaches me to look more carefully for the green stems of possibility, for the intuitive hunch that may turn into a larger insight, for the glance or touch that may thaw a frozen relationship, for the stranger’s act of kindness that make the world seem hospitable again. … if you receive a gift, you keep it alive not by clinging to it but by passing it along.” pp.104-105
In his book Living Between Worlds, (c) 2020 Sounds True, Dr. James Hollis, asks:
“What betrayal of the soul transpires when we collude with our debilitating fears? And who, besides us, will pay those debts of unlived life – our children, our partners, our colleagues, our society? Do we not see the best thing we can do for others is really to bring our best, most nearly authentic selves to engage them?” (p. 42)
Life Matters 