Category Archives: psychology

Mar 11 – Our True Self or 1+1+1

Ilia Delio, Chair in Theology at Villanova University, shares how Thomas Merton informed herstory in Discovering the true self in God with Merton’s guidance. (See https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/ncr-today/discovering-true-self-god-mertons-guidance). Delio begins by quoting Merton and then elaborates:

“‘Our vocation is not simply to be, but to work together with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny.

The search for true identity requires an honest self-love. Love of self is not selfishness but a humble recognition of our lives as true, good and beautiful. Without real love of self, all other loves are distorted. “

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marybeth-weiss/

Marybeth Weiss, VP for People & Culture, has a related message in her article, There Is No “I” in Team, but There Is a “Me”: Building a Better Team Starting with You. (See https://trainingindustry.com/articles/strategy-alignment-and-planning/there-is-no-i-in-team-but-there-is-a-me-building-a-better-team-starting-with-you/). Weiss offers:

“If we rely on stories to drive behavior, we can’t accomplish anything, and relationships deteriorate … Teams can only grow and flourish from the hunger and drive of each individualTeam success isn’t always about what the group does but how each member contributes.

Today’s senryu: our true self

one plus one plus one

equals infinity – yes,

we’re more, together

The Knowing – Doing Gap

Today’s senryu: The Knowing – Doing Gap

I know what to do

but have not done it just yet.

Do I really know?

I’m listening to Bhikkhu Bodhi‘s audio book The Noble Eightfold Path – The Way to the End of Suffering (c) 1984. Here are a couple of early passages:

“It would be pointless to pose the question which of the two aspects of the Dhamma has greater value, the doctrine or the path. But if we did risk the pointless by asking that question, the answer would have to be the path. The path claims primacy because it is precisely this that brings the teaching to life. The path translates the Dhamma from a collection of abstract formulas into a continually unfolding disclosure of truth. It gives an outlet from the problem of suffering with which the teaching starts. And it makes the teaching’s goal, liberation from suffering, accessible to us in our own experience, where alone it takes on authentic meaning.

To follow the Noble Eightfold Path is a matter of practice rather than intellectual knowledge, but to apply the path correctly it has to be properly understood. In fact, right understanding of the path is itself a part of the practice. It is a facet of right view, the first path factor, the forerunner and guide for the rest of the path. Thus, though initial enthusiasm might suggest that the task of intellectual comprehension may be shelved as a bothersome distraction, mature consideration reveals it to be quite essential to ultimate success in the practice.

The search for a spiritual path is born out of suffering. It does not start with lights and ecstasy, but with the hard tacks of pain, disappointment, and confusion. However, for
suffering to give birth to a genuine spiritual search, it must amount to more than something passively received.”

From another perspective, I’m fond of the book The Knowing-Doing Gap by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I. Sutton (c) 2000 where the authors explain knowing comes from doing and teaching others how … in a world of conceptual frameworks, fancy graphics presentations, and, in general, lots of words, there is much too little appreciation for the power, and indeed the necessity, of not just talking and thinking but of doing – and this includes explaining and teaching – as a way of knowing.”

The book goes on to quote a senior executive who says, “Where we go from an awareness state to a real knowledge is where we have problems. We are aware of it but we don’t have the knowledge because we’ve never had to teach it or implement it. And I see that’s a huge gap.” p. 248-249

Can we ever truly know without actually doing something with that knowledge?

Feb 8 – Stream of Consciousness

The Tibetan singing bell invites us to relax … the facilitator invites us to be calm and quiet our mind … and then the trip begins.

when was the first time I meditated? Oh yeah, 8th grade, Sister Del Rey, at that parochial school in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin, what was its name? …. Oh well, can’t remember everything …

it was a homework assignment: find a quiet place and let your mind float …

I remember a green jade Buddha statue floating … I wasn’t attending a Buddhist school … ha!

was it 30 minutes, I’m sure I’m exaggerating, probably only 15 at most … must write down what thoughts come and go during this experiment … I only remember that floating Buddha today, but I also remember feeling refreshed afterward even after all these years

thoughts come and go like clouds on a windy day … oh, Thay’ you made this Zen Buddhist thing so easy for us

it was maybe fifteen years later that my significant other (now my second wife of many years) invited me to try TM … transcendental meditation … that was a nice experience … I even purchased a mantra … did that for a while but

something about Zen Buddhism … Thomas Merton … D. T. Suzuki … Thich Nhat Hanh … sangha … bellmaster …

Wow! twenty-five minutes really flies when …

_/\_

Feb 6 – Infected Sooner or Later

In her book When Society Becomes an Addict (c) 1987, author Anne Wilson Schaef, writes, “any addictive system is contagious, and those who live within it become infected with the disease sooner or later. The dynamics and patterns are the same for those infected as they are for the alcoholic.” p.12

Schaef continues, “it is rare for a person to have only one addiction. Instead, the addictive person, or the individual operating within the addictive system, usually has multiple addictions. These work to trap the person in the Addictive System. … I am talking about a whole system that has such elements as confused, alcoholic thinking (‘stinkin’ thinkin’), dishonesty, self-centeredness, dependency, and the need for control at its core. Individuals functioning within an addictive system exhibit these characteristics even when they are not personally abusing drink or drugs. … the primary addictions in the Addictive System are the addictions to powerlessness and nonliving, and that all secondary addictions lead to these two primary addictions” p.13 – 16

Today’s senryu: Infected Sooner or Later

sick of sickness and

trying to get well are hard

when zombies prevail

Living In-Between

James Hollis, PhD, Jungian analyst and author of Living Between Worlds (c) 2020 with Sounds True, tells us that, “All of us are the humble carriers of the spark of life and … Life is not here to serve us; we are here to serve life.” p. 132

Hollis continues, “I say to myself these simple six words. You can borrow them if you wish or get your own mantra.

Shut up.

Suit up.

Show up.

The first (two words) tells me to stop whining and complaining. Most of us live privileged lives. Most – not all – of us have food on the table, a roof over our head, and relative security of person. So, stop complaining; simply shut up.

The second tells me to work at what is worthy of my commitment. Get prepared. Do the homework. No excuses for not being ready to take on what the day brings.

The last tells me that we all have to show up – that is, just do our best. Throw ourselves into it. No one is perfect; no one is ever finished; no one ever gets out of this life alive. Just do it as well as you can. That is all anyone can ask; that is all history asks.

Try to forgive yourself from time to time along the way. Life is here to be served. It is all a blooming mystery, and we will never figure it out. (And don’t pay attention to to any of those palookas who tell you they have.) But one thing is clear: we are here to bring our selves, our best selves, to this troubled orb plunging through oceans of space. …

So, how can we find our way, make the right choices? Sometimes we just can’t, and we have to live in the midst of the very uncomfortable for a very long time, until something unexpected appears from within.” pp. 132 – 133

Hollis says a lot more that is well worth reading. I simply wanted to share these passages above because they speak to the in-between state that I’m feeling today.

So, here’s today’s senryu: Living In-Between

big change is coming

I’m trying to prepare but

not sure what for. Shhhh.

Mar 3 – Sundowning

Today’s senryu: Sundowning

when verbs become nouns

when memories fade away

when darkness descends

Just like with humans, sundowning in dogs is believed to be caused by age-related issues such as the breakdown of the central nervous system, oxidative stress and brain cell death,” explains Dr. Stephen Katz, a veterinarian practicing more than 30 years and founder of the Bronx Veterinary Center in New York. “Unfortunately, it’s often all just a part of the aging process for both dogs and people.” https://www.dogster.com/dog-health-care/sundowning-in-dogs

Feb 25 – Two Tramps in Mud Time by Robert Frost

The last stanza of one of Robert Frost’s most famous poems is both support and challenge to my new vocation as an animal chaplain. The stanza goes like this:

“But yield who will to their separation,

my object in living is to unite

my avocation and my vocation

as my two eyes make one in sight.

Only where love and need are one,

and the work is play for mortal stakes,

is the deed ever really done

for Heaven and the future’s sakes.”

Tomorrow, I will receive a certificate of completion for animal chaplain training through Compassion Consortium (https://www.compassionconsortium.org/training). As the program describes:

Animal chaplains provide support for both animals and humans by using ritual, ceremony, and the tools of spiritual companionship. Compassion Consortium’s Animal Chaplaincy Training helps you fulfill your heart’s call to honor and celebrate the lives of all species, including how to companion them through joys and challenges.

This six-month program was offered to:

  • Healers and spiritual directors/mentors who’d like to expand their yoga, coaching, massage, therapy, reiki, veterinary, or spiritual counseling, or wellness practice to support animals and their humans through spiritual practices, rituals, and sacred listening 
  • People interested in diving deeper into the intersection of spirituality and science, such as the empirical evidence for improved health and wellness benefits of human-animal bonds 
  • Staff and volunteers working in animal shelters/sanctuaries, veterinary practices, humane education, or vegan advocacy who are interested in integrating spirituality and wellness into their organization

I’d like to think that I fit in all three categories above. Now that I’ve completed this part of the program, I will continue on for another 3+ months toward ordination in late June.

As Robert Frost referred to his role above, I hope to combine my author and animal shelter roles into one so that I may serve both animal and humans more effectively. Ultimately, my goal is to live up to the Compassion Consortium objective to “honor animal lives and heal human hearts.”

With the support of family & friends, not to mention Heaven and Mother Earth, may it be so.

_/\_

Feb 24 – 10 Benefits of Having a Dog

Here’s a repost of an article from Parade magazine by Margie Zable Fisher 

Weighing up the pros of having a dog? Here’s 10 ways it could improve your life.

10 Benefits of Having a Dog© Provided by Parade

Most of us love dogs. In fact, 63% of households own a dog, according to the 2019-2020 National Pet Owners Survey conducted by the American Pet Products Association (APPA). This has steadily increased over the years and was helped by a 30% jump in pet adoptions during the COVID-19 pandemic, according to the Insurance Research Council’s October 2020 report.

There are so many benefits of having a dog. Dogs give us unconditional love and snuggles and they also help our health in a variety of ways, especially by motivating us to exercise, by walking them. But did you know that pets help improve not just your physical health, but your mental health, too?

You may have heard about emotional support animals, often seen providing comfort and emotional support to owners on airplanes and in other public places. Or even psychiatric service dogs, which are specially trained to help people with mental health issues.

The good news is that your family dog can also provide many mental health benefits.

Weighing up the pros of having a dog? Read on for science-backed ways that pooches help reduce anxiety, stress, loneliness and more.

Benefits of having a dog

1. Decreases anxiety

“Dogs provide unconditional love and are a safe harbor when people are in distress,” says Leslie Sinn, DVM, DACVB, of Behavior Solutions, which helps pet owners with animal behavior issues. A variety of research shows that dogs help people relax and become less anxious.

2. Benefits kids with ADHD

Dogs can have a calming influence. In a 2015 study, children who received cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) with canine-assisted intervention experienced a larger decrease in the severity of ADHD symptoms. Social skills improved and difficult behavior was reduced.

3. Lowers stress for college students

Dorm life isn’t just one big party. College students have always experienced a high level of stress, due to the demands of studying, getting a job and even getting too little sleep. Inspired by “Pet the Stress Away” programs on college campuses, researchers at Washington State University studied 249 students, some of whom interacted with cats and dogs. The results were extremely paw-sitive. The group that interacted with the animals had a significant decrease in cortisol, a stress hormone. Even more interesting? Stress levels decreased after only 10 minutes.

4. Lowers stress for kids

Several studies show that dogs lower stress levels in children. One study showed that after being exposed to something stressful, brief, unstructured interactions with dogs decreased kids’ anxiety. Another study showed that when a dog was present during a physical examination, children had larger decreases in arterial pressure, heart rate and behavioral distress. In other words, they were less stressed.

5. Lowers stress for everyone

Having a pet allows us to fulfill one of our most basic needs—the human need for touch. But that’s just the beginning of the benefits of owning a dog. In addition to research showing that just petting a dog lowers stress, a study showed that cuddling, playing and petting Rover increases the level of the feel-good hormone oxytocin, which is the same hormone that helps bond moms to babies.

6. Decreases children’s anxiety

“Animals don’t judge. I think that’s one of the things they do best,” says Debra Horwitz, DVM, DACVB, of Veterinary Behavior Consultations. “For example, when a child is learning to read and reads to a dog or a cat, they might be more comfortable, because no one is correcting them on the pronunciation,” she says. One study measured the effect of children when reading to dogs. It found that anxiety levels of children were lower when reading to dogs than when they weren’t reading to dogs, as measured by a decrease in blood pressure. Dogs may also help lessen the anxiety of kids in other situations. In a study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the anxiety levels of 643 children at their annual pediatric doctor visit were analyzed. The results showed that the anxiety levels for kids with dogs in the home was 12%, vs. 21% for those without dogs.

7. Helps older folks feel better

As we get older, our friends and family might move away or even pass away, physical limitations may prevent activities and it may become harder to socialize. That’s why having a pet is so important to older adults. In fact, one study found a variety of benefits for community-dwelling older adults who owned pets: they provided companionship, gave a sense of purpose and meaning, reduced loneliness and increased socialization.

8. Reduces loneliness

In addition to being your buddy in the house and on the go, your dog can even help you make new friends. “Dogs are social magnets,” says Sinn. “They can help anyone meet people, but they are especially helpful with people who have problems engaging with others.” Case in point: One study showed that dogs help people with intellectual disabilities have social encounters, since more people talk to them when they have dogs.

9. Improves mood

It’s hard to be sad when you’re hanging out with Rover. Several studies confirm that we feel better when we’re with our dogs. One example, from the University of Missouri-Columbia, shows that participants who stroked their dogs for a few minutes experienced a release of mood-boosting hormones, including oxytocin, serotonin and prolactin.

10. Increases happiness

Doesn’t it feel great coming home to a wagging tale and a joyful pet? Science confirms that we feel a sense of wellbeing from having pets. In fact, one study found that pet owners were more satisfied with their lives than those who didn’t own pets.

Feb 19 – Interspecies Companionship – Sarah Bowen

Rev. Sarah Bowen 12-minute video introducing Animal Chaplaincy

It’s a sunny winter day here in MId-America and I’m contemplating the questions Rev Sarah Bowen introduces in the video link above. Questions like:

  1. Do animals have spiritual lives?
  2. How can we survive the loss of a loved one?
  3. What self-care looks like for animal advocates and Earth Warriors?
  4. What are some of the ways we can honor animal lives and heal human hearts?

I was very fortunate to attend the original webinar offered last Spring, 2022, and join the Animal Chaplaincy Training Program, Rev Sarah began last Summer. Barring the Apocalypse occurring this coming week, I’m looking forward to certification next Sunday, Feb 26. After that I hope to continue on for another 3 – 4 months and be ordained as an Interspecies Interspiritual Chaplain (aka Spiritual Care provider).

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you already know of my interest in Animals, Mindfulness and now Animal Chaplaincy. If you’re interested in learning more about these topics please subscribe to this blog AND check out Rev Sarah Bowen’s organization: Compassion Consortium. https://www.compassionconsortium.org/training

Today’s senryu: Interspecies Companionship

breathing in, I feel

life teeming all around me;

breathing out, I smile

Compassion Consortium’s Tenets of Agreement

https://www.compassionconsortium.org/our-founding-principles

Feb 1 – The Mixed Messages of February

What comes to mind when you first realize it’s February? What memories, historical events or important people come to mind? What about February do you look forward to this year?

Personally, I first think of another Valentine’s Day that I won’t be celebrating. My partner doesn’t like this day and I became less interested myself when my beloved grandfather died on this day. This “holiday” has become more of a dirge than a celebration, a personal St. Valentine’s Day massacre.

Next, I think of Groundhog Day. A funny day and an even funnier movie. Did you know that the Groundhog Day movie is considered a great metaphor for life from a Buddhist perspective?

Then I remember the U.S. Presidential holidays which quite frankly are another mixed message, from my perspective. George Washington was a rich slave owner and Abraham Lincoln was a lawyer who used the Emancipation Proclamation as a war tactic. Fortunately, both of these thoughts remind me that February is Black History Month in the U.S. which is a very good thing to celebrate.

My life has benefited greatly from African American contributions and specific individuals who have demonstrated honor and nobility in their own lives. Many black Mindfulness practitioners have especially role-modeled the benefits of nonduality and nonviolent principles.

Now I’m looking forward to this month and the topics I will be blogging about.

Finally, this mixed-emotional month reminds me of a poem published last year in a self-published book Natural Beauty and Other Poems (c) 2022 Patrick J. Cole

Here’s the poem:

One Tree, One Lonely, February Afternoon

In the middle of a field, far apart from others, that lie in the woods to the West,

stands a tree, alone, exposed on every side; a tree looking different from the rest.

How did this tree end up here, all alone? Does a tree ever have a choice?

Perhaps our ancestral seeds blow where they will and all we have is our voice,

to tell what we know, however small it may be, in whatever field we find ourself.

Sometimes, what stands out, catches our eye, ends up on a mantle or a shelf.

Alone and lonely are two separate states but sometimes they’re intertwined,

like the branches of a tree, one lonely afternoon, in a late February state of mind.

Photo taken by the author in a nearby nature park.