Category Archives: psychology

Mar 23 – What’s in a Name?

Some days my mind jumps from one thought to another so quickly it’s hard to connect the dots. Today is like that for me.

nosweatshakespeare.com/quotes/soliloquies/whats-in-a-name/

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.” Spoken by Juliet, Act 2 Scene 2 of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet

Today’s senryu: What’s in a Name?

a whore’s spaghetti

so tainted by love apples

childhood favorite

(See https://recipes.howstuffworks.com/tomato-called-a-love-apple.htm)

Mar 18 – Let Your Life Speak by Parker Palmer

Parker J. Palmer is an American author, educator, and activist who focuses on issues in education, community, leadership, spirituality and social change. He has published ten books and numerous essays and poems and is founder and Senior Partner Emeritus of the Center for Courage and Renewal.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parker_Palmer

Only 117 pages, Palmer’s small book, Let Your Life Speak, (c) 2000 by Jossey-Bass, is filled with candor and wisdom about his (and our) search for right livelihood, for a meaningful vocation.

A couple of quotes from this book inspired by his Quaker practice are:

“there is much guidance in what does not and cannot happen in my life as there is in what can and does – maybe more.” p.39

“If I try to be or do something noble that has nothing to do with who I am, I may look good to others and to myself for a while. But the fact that I am exceeding my limits will eventually have consequences. I will distort myself, the other, and our relationship – and may end up doing more damage than if I had never set out to do this particular ‘good’. … It took me a long time to understand that although everyone needs to be loved, I cannot be the source of that gift to everyone who asks me for it. There are some relations in which I am capable of love and others in which I am not. To pretend otherwise, to put out promissory notes I am unable to honor, is to damage my own integrity and that of the person in need.” pp.47-48

“We can make choices about what we are going to project, and with those choices we help grow the world … Our complicity in world making is a source of awesome and sometimes painful responsibility – and a source of profound hope for change.” p.78

“Spring teaches me to look more carefully for the green stems of possibility, for the intuitive hunch that may turn into a larger insight, for the glance or touch that may thaw a frozen relationship, for the stranger’s act of kindness that make the world seem hospitable again. … if you receive a gift, you keep it alive not by clinging to it but by passing it along.” pp.104-105

Today’s senryu: Let Your Life Speak

I can do myself,

I cannot do you – that is

yours to make happen.

http://www.target.com/p/let-your-life-speak-by-parker-j-palmer-hardcover

Mar 14 – “What Betrayal of the Soul”

In his book Living Between Worlds, (c) 2020 Sounds True, Dr. James Hollis, asks:

“What betrayal of the soul transpires when we collude with our debilitating fears? And who, besides us, will pay those debts of unlived life – our children, our partners, our colleagues, our society? Do we not see the best thing we can do for others is really to bring our best, most nearly authentic selves to engage them?” (p. 42)

Today’s senryu: What Betrayal of the Soul

Hide it or use it,

share it or lose it – what calls

out to you today?

Mar 11 – Our True Self or 1+1+1

Ilia Delio, Chair in Theology at Villanova University, shares how Thomas Merton informed herstory in Discovering the true self in God with Merton’s guidance. (See https://www.ncronline.org/blogs/ncr-today/discovering-true-self-god-mertons-guidance). Delio begins by quoting Merton and then elaborates:

“‘Our vocation is not simply to be, but to work together with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny.

The search for true identity requires an honest self-love. Love of self is not selfishness but a humble recognition of our lives as true, good and beautiful. Without real love of self, all other loves are distorted. “

https://www.linkedin.com/in/marybeth-weiss/

Marybeth Weiss, VP for People & Culture, has a related message in her article, There Is No “I” in Team, but There Is a “Me”: Building a Better Team Starting with You. (See https://trainingindustry.com/articles/strategy-alignment-and-planning/there-is-no-i-in-team-but-there-is-a-me-building-a-better-team-starting-with-you/). Weiss offers:

“If we rely on stories to drive behavior, we can’t accomplish anything, and relationships deteriorate … Teams can only grow and flourish from the hunger and drive of each individualTeam success isn’t always about what the group does but how each member contributes.

Today’s senryu: our true self

one plus one plus one

equals infinity – yes,

we’re more, together

The Knowing – Doing Gap

Today’s senryu: The Knowing – Doing Gap

I know what to do

but have not done it just yet.

Do I really know?

I’m listening to Bhikkhu Bodhi‘s audio book The Noble Eightfold Path – The Way to the End of Suffering (c) 1984. Here are a couple of early passages:

“It would be pointless to pose the question which of the two aspects of the Dhamma has greater value, the doctrine or the path. But if we did risk the pointless by asking that question, the answer would have to be the path. The path claims primacy because it is precisely this that brings the teaching to life. The path translates the Dhamma from a collection of abstract formulas into a continually unfolding disclosure of truth. It gives an outlet from the problem of suffering with which the teaching starts. And it makes the teaching’s goal, liberation from suffering, accessible to us in our own experience, where alone it takes on authentic meaning.

To follow the Noble Eightfold Path is a matter of practice rather than intellectual knowledge, but to apply the path correctly it has to be properly understood. In fact, right understanding of the path is itself a part of the practice. It is a facet of right view, the first path factor, the forerunner and guide for the rest of the path. Thus, though initial enthusiasm might suggest that the task of intellectual comprehension may be shelved as a bothersome distraction, mature consideration reveals it to be quite essential to ultimate success in the practice.

The search for a spiritual path is born out of suffering. It does not start with lights and ecstasy, but with the hard tacks of pain, disappointment, and confusion. However, for
suffering to give birth to a genuine spiritual search, it must amount to more than something passively received.”

From another perspective, I’m fond of the book The Knowing-Doing Gap by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert I. Sutton (c) 2000 where the authors explain knowing comes from doing and teaching others how … in a world of conceptual frameworks, fancy graphics presentations, and, in general, lots of words, there is much too little appreciation for the power, and indeed the necessity, of not just talking and thinking but of doing – and this includes explaining and teaching – as a way of knowing.”

The book goes on to quote a senior executive who says, “Where we go from an awareness state to a real knowledge is where we have problems. We are aware of it but we don’t have the knowledge because we’ve never had to teach it or implement it. And I see that’s a huge gap.” p. 248-249

Can we ever truly know without actually doing something with that knowledge?

Feb 8 – Stream of Consciousness

The Tibetan singing bell invites us to relax … the facilitator invites us to be calm and quiet our mind … and then the trip begins.

when was the first time I meditated? Oh yeah, 8th grade, Sister Del Rey, at that parochial school in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin, what was its name? …. Oh well, can’t remember everything …

it was a homework assignment: find a quiet place and let your mind float …

I remember a green jade Buddha statue floating … I wasn’t attending a Buddhist school … ha!

was it 30 minutes, I’m sure I’m exaggerating, probably only 15 at most … must write down what thoughts come and go during this experiment … I only remember that floating Buddha today, but I also remember feeling refreshed afterward even after all these years

thoughts come and go like clouds on a windy day … oh, Thay’ you made this Zen Buddhist thing so easy for us

it was maybe fifteen years later that my significant other (now my second wife of many years) invited me to try TM … transcendental meditation … that was a nice experience … I even purchased a mantra … did that for a while but

something about Zen Buddhism … Thomas Merton … D. T. Suzuki … Thich Nhat Hanh … sangha … bellmaster …

Wow! twenty-five minutes really flies when …

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Feb 6 – Infected Sooner or Later

In her book When Society Becomes an Addict (c) 1987, author Anne Wilson Schaef, writes, “any addictive system is contagious, and those who live within it become infected with the disease sooner or later. The dynamics and patterns are the same for those infected as they are for the alcoholic.” p.12

Schaef continues, “it is rare for a person to have only one addiction. Instead, the addictive person, or the individual operating within the addictive system, usually has multiple addictions. These work to trap the person in the Addictive System. … I am talking about a whole system that has such elements as confused, alcoholic thinking (‘stinkin’ thinkin’), dishonesty, self-centeredness, dependency, and the need for control at its core. Individuals functioning within an addictive system exhibit these characteristics even when they are not personally abusing drink or drugs. … the primary addictions in the Addictive System are the addictions to powerlessness and nonliving, and that all secondary addictions lead to these two primary addictions” p.13 – 16

Today’s senryu: Infected Sooner or Later

sick of sickness and

trying to get well are hard

when zombies prevail

Living In-Between

James Hollis, PhD, Jungian analyst and author of Living Between Worlds (c) 2020 with Sounds True, tells us that, “All of us are the humble carriers of the spark of life and … Life is not here to serve us; we are here to serve life.” p. 132

Hollis continues, “I say to myself these simple six words. You can borrow them if you wish or get your own mantra.

Shut up.

Suit up.

Show up.

The first (two words) tells me to stop whining and complaining. Most of us live privileged lives. Most – not all – of us have food on the table, a roof over our head, and relative security of person. So, stop complaining; simply shut up.

The second tells me to work at what is worthy of my commitment. Get prepared. Do the homework. No excuses for not being ready to take on what the day brings.

The last tells me that we all have to show up – that is, just do our best. Throw ourselves into it. No one is perfect; no one is ever finished; no one ever gets out of this life alive. Just do it as well as you can. That is all anyone can ask; that is all history asks.

Try to forgive yourself from time to time along the way. Life is here to be served. It is all a blooming mystery, and we will never figure it out. (And don’t pay attention to to any of those palookas who tell you they have.) But one thing is clear: we are here to bring our selves, our best selves, to this troubled orb plunging through oceans of space. …

So, how can we find our way, make the right choices? Sometimes we just can’t, and we have to live in the midst of the very uncomfortable for a very long time, until something unexpected appears from within.” pp. 132 – 133

Hollis says a lot more that is well worth reading. I simply wanted to share these passages above because they speak to the in-between state that I’m feeling today.

So, here’s today’s senryu: Living In-Between

big change is coming

I’m trying to prepare but

not sure what for. Shhhh.

Mar 3 – Sundowning

Today’s senryu: Sundowning

when verbs become nouns

when memories fade away

when darkness descends

Just like with humans, sundowning in dogs is believed to be caused by age-related issues such as the breakdown of the central nervous system, oxidative stress and brain cell death,” explains Dr. Stephen Katz, a veterinarian practicing more than 30 years and founder of the Bronx Veterinary Center in New York. “Unfortunately, it’s often all just a part of the aging process for both dogs and people.” https://www.dogster.com/dog-health-care/sundowning-in-dogs

Feb 25 – Two Tramps in Mud Time by Robert Frost

The last stanza of one of Robert Frost’s most famous poems is both support and challenge to my new vocation as an animal chaplain. The stanza goes like this:

“But yield who will to their separation,

my object in living is to unite

my avocation and my vocation

as my two eyes make one in sight.

Only where love and need are one,

and the work is play for mortal stakes,

is the deed ever really done

for Heaven and the future’s sakes.”

Tomorrow, I will receive a certificate of completion for animal chaplain training through Compassion Consortium (https://www.compassionconsortium.org/training). As the program describes:

Animal chaplains provide support for both animals and humans by using ritual, ceremony, and the tools of spiritual companionship. Compassion Consortium’s Animal Chaplaincy Training helps you fulfill your heart’s call to honor and celebrate the lives of all species, including how to companion them through joys and challenges.

This six-month program was offered to:

  • Healers and spiritual directors/mentors who’d like to expand their yoga, coaching, massage, therapy, reiki, veterinary, or spiritual counseling, or wellness practice to support animals and their humans through spiritual practices, rituals, and sacred listening 
  • People interested in diving deeper into the intersection of spirituality and science, such as the empirical evidence for improved health and wellness benefits of human-animal bonds 
  • Staff and volunteers working in animal shelters/sanctuaries, veterinary practices, humane education, or vegan advocacy who are interested in integrating spirituality and wellness into their organization

I’d like to think that I fit in all three categories above. Now that I’ve completed this part of the program, I will continue on for another 3+ months toward ordination in late June.

As Robert Frost referred to his role above, I hope to combine my author and animal shelter roles into one so that I may serve both animal and humans more effectively. Ultimately, my goal is to live up to the Compassion Consortium objective to “honor animal lives and heal human hearts.”

With the support of family & friends, not to mention Heaven and Mother Earth, may it be so.

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