Tag Archives: senryu

Dec 6 – Trust & Forgiveness

trust and forgiveness

marriage is a tough, tough gig

life’s a stormy sea


Four quotes inform today’s senryu:

Kevin Costner once said, “I try to conduct my life with a certain amount of dignity and discretion — but marriage is a hard, hard gig,” Read More: https://www.thelist.com/1331805/signs-kevin-costner-christine-baumgartner-never-going-to-last/

“Marriage has become a lonely life raft in a storm-tossed sea.” Stephen Mintz, PhD. http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-prime-life/201606/why-marriages-are-so-difficult-sustain

Broken trust in marriage

If trust has been broken in a marriage, there can be severe consequences beyond the end of the marriage. But let’s back up and see if the situation can be helped or modified towards a different conclusion.

First, if something has happened and there is mistrust in a marriage, both partners have to want to mend what is broken. Frank conversations are needed to tackle a lack of trust in a relationship.

Both people must speak openly about what has happened to break the trust in the marriage. It simply does not work unless both are engaged in rectifying what has occurred.

It will take effort and some compromise from both people. Regardless of the cause, forgiveness must be part of the equation if the marriage continues.

If forgiveness cannot be achieved and the lack of trust in a relationship persists, it is better to seriously consider ending the relationship and moving on. …

There are several potential reasons for the lack of trust in your relationship. Mainly, these come from unresolved childhood pain, unmet needs, and unrealistic expectations. The key is to partner up with someone who has similar values so that you can create a unified future. 

Resolving a lack of trust will take time, but it is possible if both are willing to change. Sometimes that means getting some external support and guidance through individual or couples’ therapy. 

Clearly, at some point, you have to decide what’s right for you and whether the relationship is worth the fight. Either way, the decision is yours, so don’t let distrust ruin your life. Learn from it, make whatever changes you need, and keep looking forward.” Rachael Pace at http://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/lack-of-trust-in-a-relationship/

Nov 8 – There Will Be Dogs in My Future

if we are lucky

a dog will give us their smile

and our hearts will melt


Yesterday, I listed the many lost companion animals of my past; most of them were dogs, dearly beloved dogs.

A good friend is a part-time palm reader. They recently read my palms and saw two very clear signs. First, there would be big dogs in my future and second, there would be small dogs. We both laughed.

I’m writing this on a very early Wednesday morning. In a couple of hours, I will be visiting the Stray Rescue of STL facility to walk dogs for the morning. It’s something I look forward to every week. One at a time, I will walk mixed breed dogs that have been abandoned and then rescued for hopeful re-homing.

Last Wednesday, I walked Goten, Supreme, Fury, Luck of the Irish and Pepto. Not sure who I will walk today. I’m always hopeful at least one of last week’s dogs will have been adopted or fostered in the meantime.

Here’s wishing you a day filled with joy and, if you’re lucky like me, a day that includes the love of a dog.

https://www.strayrescue.org/adopt-a-dog

Oct 28 – Fighting Societal Affective Disorder

are you feeling SAD?

something might be wrong for you

check out your beliefs


I’m a huge fan of Rabbi Rami Shapiro and have a number of his books on addiction, religion, and social issues. Rabbi Rami also has a regular column in the Spirituality & Health ezine. See this site for his latest column: http://www.spiritualityhealth.com/fighting-societal-affective-disorder

Below are highlights from the article that most spoke to me. I highly encourage you, dear reader, to check out the full article.


Fighting Societal Affective Disorder

by  Rabbi Rami Shapiro

After a conversation with a seasonal affective disorder expert, Rabbi Rami ponders the affliction of societal affective disorder.

Reading Defeating SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder): A Guide to Health and Happiness through All Seasons (by) author Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal, I was struck with the notion that Western civilization may be going through its own version of SAD: not seasonal affective disorder, but societal affective disorder.

SAD is a “condition of regular depressions that occur in the fall and winter and typically remit in the spring and summer.” Among the common symptoms of seasonal affective disorder are a slowing down of thinking and action, sadness, increased anxiety, increased appetite, cravings for sweets and starches, greater need for sleep, and less interest in sex.

As I look at societal affective disorder, the symptoms are similar: lack of mental clarity and increase in irrationality; increase in fear, anger, hatred, and violence; increased appetite for conspiracy theories; scapegoating and othering of marginalized communities; cravings for empty rhetoric, spectacle, and bread and circuses; greater need for mind-numbing info-tainment; and less interest in sex accompanied by a rising obsession with homophobia, toxic masculinity, and misogyny….

(W)hy are so many people afraid of and violent toward the LGBTQ+ community? Because they believe the very existence of such people violates the will of God or laws of Nature.

Why do so many people hate Jews? Because they believe Jews are part of a millennia-old cabal that secretly runs the world to the detriment of [fill in your favorite racial, ethnic, or religious group].

Why do so many white people want to erase African-American history? Because they believe that the truth might lead to justice for Black people at the expense of white people.

If I’m right about this, one way to cure America of societal affective disorder is to examine the health of our beliefs. But be careful: Don’t assume that liberals’ beliefs are healthy, and conservatives’ beliefs are unhealthy. … We need another set of criteria when judging our beliefs. Let me suggest this preliminary list:

If your beliefs promote the thriving of all people regardless of race, sex, gender, ethnicity, religion, etc., they are probably healthy. If they don’t, they are probably unhealthy.

If your beliefs call you to acts of justice and compassion to serve the wellbeing of person and planet, they are probably healthy. If your beliefs make you anxious, angry, fearful, violent, and boorish, they are probably unhealthy.

If your beliefs are healthy, share them. If your beliefs are unhealthy, change them. In this way, we might do something to defeat the societal affective disorder that is threatening our democracy.

Rabbi Rami Shapiro is an award-winning author, essayist, poet, and teacher. 

Aug 26 – International Dog Day

Can you feel the love,

see the desire to be close?

Nose to nose, we see.

INTERNATIONAL DOG DAY: A SPECIAL DAY TO CELEBRATE ALL DOGS AROUND THE WORLD!

The International Dog Day is observed annually on August 26 to honor all dogs – no matter shapes, sizes, age and breeds – and encourage adoption to all those who have yet to find a home and a family forever.

It is a good and symbolic occasion to celebrate man’s best friend and to remember that every dog around the world should deserve a better life: a life of joy, love, protection, care and respect. A special day to raise awareness about dog adoption because if you are looking for a life’s companion, shelters are full of four-legged friends who are waiting for their chance and will bring just happiness to your days.

Today we also want to give special thought to all dogs that are still left behind in many parts of the world because people, government or local authorities do not care. We should remember all dogs killed, abused, mistreated, but also those who live homeless, in suffering with no care and need to be helped and rescued.

This day was created in 2004 by Colleen Paige, a pet and family lifestyle expert and animal advocate who chose to celebrate the day on August 26 as it was the date that her family adopted their first dog ‘Sheltie’ from an animal shelter home.

Since the first celebration in 2004, National Dog Day has grown in popularity and is now celebrated across the world as International Dog Day.

Today choose to celebrate by giving your dog an extra cuddle, but also do not forget the others and help them by volunteering in a shelter, making a donation or consciously adopting your friend forever.

Be sure to spend this day acknowledging how wonderful and valuable dogs are and give them something positive back as they deserve.”

https://www.oipa.org/international/international-dog-day/

Jun 28 – One Week Later

Zorro and me a few months back

Today’s dogryu: One Week Later

miss you so, Zorro

grateful for the time we had

still holding you close


http://www.strayrescue.org

I return to Stray Rescue today to walk some big dogs. Plenty of dogs looking for love and attention. The feelings are mutual.

In his book HOW TO LIVE WHEN A LOVED ONE DIES, Thich Nhat Hanh explains:

Letting Emotions Flow Through You

Do not be afraid of your painful feelings and difficult emotions. If we try to repress our painful feelings, we create a lack of circulation in our psyche which can lead to depression or other psychological problems. Just as the body needs good circulation of the blood to remain healthy, we also need good psychological circulation. …

Mindfulness is the blood of our psyche. Like the blood in the body, it has the power to eliminate toxins and heal our pain. Every time our pain is embraced by mindfulness, it loses some of its strength; it becomes weaker each time. …

When mindfulness circulates in our consciousness, we begin to experience well-being. We needn’t be afraid of our pain when we know that our mindfulness is also there, ready to embrace and transform it.” p.56

http://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/667266/how-to-live-when-a-loved-one-dies-by-thich-nhat-hanh

May 30 – Time as a Sacrament

Today’s senryu: Time as a Sacrament

one moment with you

relative and ultimate

love in an eye blink

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Two references inform today’s love poem, Sister Joan Chittister and Thich Nhat Hanh:

https://monasteriesoftheheart.org/

Definition of contemplative – a person who seeks to remove distractions to focus on essentials, fond of silence and solitude, thoughtful and prudent, suspicious of ego, and full of praise for the feeling of divine presence (https://catholicstand.com/five-traits-for-a-contemplative-life/)

Definition of time – the continued sequence of existence and events that occurs in an apparently irreversible succession from the past, through the present, into the future (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Time)

Definition of sacrament – the sacred nature of things (https://www.learnreligions.com/what-is-a-sacrament)

Definition of God – the supreme or ultimate reality (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/god)

Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of relative and ultimate truth which elaborates on a moment of time and eternity:

When we look at the ocean, we see that each wave has a beginning and an end. A wave can be compared with other waves, and we can call it more or less beautiful, higher or lower, longer lasting or less long lasting. But if we look more deeply, we see that a wave is made of water. While living the life of a wave, it also lives the life of water. It would be sad if the wave did not know that it is water. It would think, “Someday, I will have to die. This period of time is my life span, and when I arrive at the shore, I will return to nonbeing.” These notions will cause the wave fear and anguish. We have to help it remove the notions of self, person, living being, and life span if we want the wave to be free and happy.

A wave can be recognized by signs—high or low, beginning or ending, beautiful or ugly. But in the world of the water, there are no signs. In the world of relative truth, the wave feels happy as she swells, and she feels sad when she falls. She may think, “I am high,” or “I am low,” and develop a superiority or inferiority complex. But when the wave touches her true nature—which is water—all her complexes will cease, and she will transcend birth and death.

We become arrogant when things go well, and we are afraid of falling, or being low or inadequate. But these are relative ideas, and when they end, a feeling of completeness and satisfaction arises. Liberation is the ability to go from the world of signs to the world of true nature. We need the relative world of the wave [emphasis mine], but we also need to touch the water, the ground of our being, to have real peace and joy [and this is what so many contemporary people lack]. We shouldn’t allow relative truth to imprison us and keep us from touching absolute truth. Looking deeply into relative truth, we penetrate the absolute. Relative and absolute truths inter-embrace. Both truths, relative and absolute, have a value.” from Thich Nhat Hanh, The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching (Broadway Books: 1998), 124-125.

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/sea-surf-waves-beach/

May 29 – “Our Life Is Our Path”

Today’s senryu: Our Life Is Our Path

How did I get here?

Where am I going today?

I pause, breathe and smile.

If I had to label my spiritual path, Zen Christian comes close to describing it. This Summer I’m scheduled to be “ordained,” first as an Interspecies, Interspiritual Animal Chaplain through Compassion Consortium and later as a lay brother in the Order of Interbeing, Thich Nhat Hanh’s Plum Village Tradition.

Below are two quotes which explain how I see my Zen Christian practice today.

First, “to be a human being is to be a knower and a lover of nature and spirit, because to be human is to be both.” Dr. Christopher Baglow (https://strangenotions.com/two-paths/)

The second quote comes from Thich Nhat Hanh:

We enter the path of practice through the door of knowledge, perhaps from a Dharma talk or a book. We continue along the path, and our suffering lessens, little by little. But at some point, all of our concepts and ideas must yield to our actual experience. Words and ideas are only useful if they are put into practice. When we stop discussing things and begin to realize the teachings in our own life, a moment comes when we realize that our life is the path, and we no longer rely merely on the forms of practice. Our action becomes ‘non-action,’ and our practice becomes ‘non-practice.‘” from The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh (c) Broadway Books, p.122

Thích Nhất Hạnh was a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist who lived in southwest France where he was in exile for many years. Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, Thích Nhất Hạnh joined a Zen monastery at the age of 16 and studied Buddhism as a novitiate. Upon his ordination as a monk in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thích Nhất Hạnh. Thích is an honorary family name used by all Vietnamese monks and nuns, meaning that they are part of the Shakya (Shakyamuni Buddha) clan. He was often considered the most influential living figure in the lineage of Lâm Tế (Vietnamese Rinzai) Thiền, and perhaps also in Zen Buddhism as a whole.” https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/209574.The_Heart_of_the_Buddha_s_Teaching

May 17 – Bowing

Today’s senryu: Bowing

bowing together

our hearts and minds connected

love and respect shared

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Below is a repost of a Lion’s Roar article written by Br. Phap Hai. It’s a great introduction to the basics of bowing. May this bring you comfort and peace today.

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How to Practice Bowing

BY BROTHER PHAP HAI| AUGUST 29, 2021

When we bow to another person, says Brother Phap Hai, we honor both their goodness and our own.

In the famed Lotus Sutra, there is a wonderful chapter in which we meet a bodhisattva named Never Despising. His practice was not doing long hours of sitting meditation, chanting the sutras, or reciting mantras. Upon seeing another person, he would put his palms together, bow, and say, “You will become a buddha one day!” This was bodhisattva Never Despising’s only practice.

One of the first things that made an impression on me when I visited a traditional Buddhist temple was seeing practitioners join their palms in front of their heart when they met each other. I immediately felt a sense of respect and sacredness, not only toward the shrine but toward each other.

The practice of bowing, whether as a physical or mental practice, helps us connect with others as human beings who are just like us in their search for happiness and peace. For me, bowing to another person is a practice of touching what is real and alive—within me and within them. Doesn’t that sound like the heart of meditation?

Recently, a practitioner asked me about the benefits of meditation. I knew that she was hoping I would talk about dazzling lights, profound insights, or psychic powers. Perhaps to her disappointment, I shared with her my growing sense of appreciation for the ordinary moments of my life—a cup of tea in the morning, warm sunshine, laughter. Before, I had taken these things as a given rather than a gift. Now as I practice more, my experience of them has become richer, deeper, and more meaningful.

When I reflect in this way, even inanimate objects become dear, dear friends on the path. Whenever I sit down in the meditation hall, I bow to my cushion because it is a very kind friend to my buttocks and lower back. Practicing in this way, I experience a lot of joy and gratitude.

Within the confines of a monastery or practice center, I will physically bow to others, but sometimes I find myself in situations where that might be thought strange. In that case, rather than focusing on the physical act of joining my palms, I do a mental bowing practice. I simply open myself to the other person and touch the realness within both of us.

Perhaps the greatest advice I ever received in my spiritual life was when a senior meditation teacher told me that as Buddhists we should always avoid “covering things over with a whole lot of bells and incense. Just be yourself, truly yourself.”

The act of joining our palms and bowing is first of all a physical practice, but most importantly it is a moment of mental stopping and recognition. Here are some different ways that you can practice bowing:

On the most basic level, one practice of bowing is to look into the eyes of another person and gently bring your palms together in front of your heart. You might bend slightly at the waist or bow your head in respect.

When we join our palms in front of another person, we are recognizing the essential quality of goodness in ourselves and in them. That is truly a moment of celebration. When somebody joins their palms in front of me, I feel as if a mirror is being held up to me. In it, I see who I truly am. It is always a powerful moment.

Another practice is to visualize your hands as a lotus flower. As you join your palms together in front of your heart, make an offering to the buddha in front of you. You might find it helpful to recite silently the following gatha: “A lotus for you, a buddha-to-be.”

Bowing can also be a mental practice. Too often we fail to appreciate the ordinary moments of our life. Bring your awareness to encounters with people whom you might normally overlook—the person at the checkout counter, the people in line with you at the airport. Stop and take a moment to recognize the person in front of you. With soft eyes and an open heart, send them your respect and appreciation. Mentally bow to the true nature of goodness you share.

ABOUT BROTHER PHAP HAI

Originally from Australia, Brother Phap Hai is a senior student of Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh. Prior to becoming a monk, he trained as a chef. Brother Phap Hai is known for his ability to convey complex teachings in an accessible and humorous manner and leads retreats and workshops throughout the United States, Canada, South America, Australia, and Asia. He currently resides at Deer Park Monastery, in California, where he breathes, walks, and smiles on a regular basis. He is the author of Nothing to It: Ten Ways to Be at Home with Yourself.

http://www.amazon.com/Nothing-Ten-Ways-Home-Yourself

http://www.lionsroar.com

May 16 – “Keep Putting Things into Your Future”

Love takes work from both parties in a relationship. Making dreams come true for the two of you keeps passion alive. Be – Do – Have.

Today’s senryu: Keep Putting Things into Your Future

making memories

creating joy together

keep the dream alive

“Everybody wants to have great relationships. But unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, we spend so much time rooted in the past that we hardly notice that joy is possible in the present moment. Many of us are addicted to courtship, because when you’re in the courtship phase, you’re all lit up about the future. We’re going to be together, we’re going to have a great relationship, it’s going to be awesome. That sense of what’s “going to be” fuels your joy and excitement in the present moment. So you’re making plans, you’re doing all kinds of fun things, you’re all pumped up. Then you get married, and it all stops.

What stopped? The idea that your future could be more exciting than your present. The future is the fuel for the joy in the present moment, and once you’ve “arrived” – you’ve got the wedding ring on your finger, you’ve got the money in the bank, or whatever other future you were shooting for – all of a sudden the air goes out of the balloon. Why? Because you’re no longer creating from the future. You’ve achieved your goal and you start to coast. I hate to say it, but you can only coast one way – downhill.

In a relationship, if the future is the fuel because you’re so excited about what you’re going to do, then keep on putting things into your future that light both of you up.” Raise Your HDL: Healthy Deserve Level by Gary Kadi, (c) 2009, p.35

https://screenrant.com/best-pretty-woman-quotes

May 13 – Come Saturday Morning

“The ads for “The Sterile Cuckoo” remind us that you can fall in love for the first time only once in your life. True enough, but that begs the question of whether Pookie and Jerry are really in love. I doubt it. Their relationship is based more on need: her need to be loved, and his need to make love.” Thus begins the critical movie review by Roger Ebert, the late Pulitzer-Prize winning movie critic who died in 2013. See the full review here: http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/the-sterile-cuckoo-1969

I was a movie reviewer for both my high school and college newspapers. I still enjoy watching movies, especially classics, but stopped writing movie reviews long ago. I was more of a promoter than a critic and definitely not as talented a writer as Roger Ebert. Alas.

Liza Minnelli and the song, Come Saturday Morning, were nominated for Oscars, although neither won. Alas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nIdGutgymY

Today’s senryu: Come Saturday Morning

Alas, life is short

and timing is ev’rything.

What time is it now?