Author Archives: Patrick Cole

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About Patrick Cole

Husband, parent and writer. Sharing stories with a little humor and wisdom along the way.

Henri Nouwen Meditation

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“What keeps us from opening to the reality of the world? Could it be that we cannot accept our powerlessness and are only willing to see those wounds that we can heal?

Could it be that we do not want to give up our illusion that we are masters over our world and, therefore, create our own Disneyland where we can make ourselves believe that all events of life are safely under control?

Could it be that our blindness and deafness are signs of our own resistance to acknowledging that we are not the Lord of the Universe?

It is hard to allow these questions to go beyond the level of rhetoric and to really sense in our innermost self how much we resent our powerlessness . . . .

The astonishing thing is that the battle for survival has become so “normal” that few people really believe that it can be different . . . .

Oh, how important is discipline, community, prayer, silence, caring presence, simple listening, adoration, and deep, lasting faithful friendship. We all want it so much, and still the powers suggesting that all of that is fantasy are enormous.

But we have to replace the battle for power with the battle to create space for the spirit.“

For more see henrinouwen.org/meditation/

Daily Thoughts & Rehearsing Suffering

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Woke up this morning in a sunny disposition

but then read my email, the forecast, news highlights and social media.

Truly, we are bombarded daily with thoughts that are not of our own making:

  • Am I safe?
  • Am I lovable?
  • Do I matter?

How we handle these thoughts is critical to our mental and physical health. What options do we really have?

Below are two excerpts that have helped me better understand where many thoughts come from and how they may affect us.

How Many Ads Do We See Daily?

“It is estimated that an adult in a metropolitan area may see anywhere from 50 to 400 advertisements per day1. Digital marketing experts estimate that most Americans are exposed to around 4,000 to 10,000 ads each day2. Folks from marketing firm Yankelovich, Inc. estimate that the average modern person is exposed to around 5,000 ads per day3. An average modern individual is estimated to see 300-700 ad messages per day4. thedrum.com

Rehearsing Suffering

A major obstacle … is the tendency of our mind to get stuck in negative thinking. The mind “rehearses” the scenarios that bother us, ultimately because it wants to resolve the problem and to find a way out. Unfortunately, it may get stuck … repeating the same track ceaselessly.

The mind has been likened to a search engine—you (start with one) thought and it gives you other thoughts related to it. (For example,) if we keep harboring hateful thoughts—even if we don’t act on them—they may lead to more hate and violence. …

Everything we routinely do can be understood as practicing and rehearsing. … In neuroscience, it is known that neurons that “fire together wire together.” ….

When you do or say something negatively the first time, you may feel bad about it, but the second time it may already feel less unsettling. You may tell yourself “You’re not worthy,” — the first time you do it, it is a shock. But the second time you may feel less bad. And then the behavior may become a habit. Every time you get angry, you punch the wall. It can become uncontrollable. A habit becomes a personality, which then determines the course of your life and destiny. …

For those who tend to be gloomy and in despair easily, compounded with the suffering of the past, our habitual mood makes it even more difficult to handle and transform the situation. … It takes a lot of courage to release and let go of our negativity.”

Excerpt adapted from Flowers in the Dark: Reclaiming Your Power to Heal Trauma through Mindfulness by Sister Dang Nghiem © 2021 by Sister Dang Nghiem. Reprinted in arrangement with Parallax Press. For the full article see: tricycle.org/article/sister-dang-nghiem-suffering/

What are you thinking today?

Two, Two, Two Things in One

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Hot & Steamy

this is not triple x

this is my dog’s first dump of the day

large, firm and steaming with its salute to the sun

on this fine spring morning

mid-50s temp at 7:30am

oh, glorious excrement

to honor another opportunity

to process life’s bounty

Forecasters

calendars, like meteorologists,

or even those predicting the apocalypse,

can look foolish when their forecasts ring false

for example, spring begins on March 20

no, not true in Michigan,

calendars say what they say

but in reality

a Michigan spring begins later

oh, sure, in March there may be a sneak peak

but winter returns … to tamp down premature joy

suffering and joy …

the same is true for the other seasons too

each begins with a tease

only to truly arrive

much later than forecasted

Michigan and again and again ….

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I recently moved back to my home state for this beautiful peninsula with its comforting and familiar geography. I have also returned to rebuild a relationship with my beautiful, comforting and familiar wife.

Thank god for second chances and a home that supports them.

Below is the link to another beautiful post from John Coyote aka John Castellenas accompanied by The Accidentals beautiful song.

I won’t leave Michigan again..

Virtuous Community

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Lynn J Kelly provides another great summary of how we might grow individually by helping a community grow. A quick excerpt is below. For the full post see the link below.

“Trust is the foundation of any well-functioning community, and trust is built through truthfulness, kindness, common goals that are visibly being pursued, and commitment to each other and the stated purposes of the community. 

Every family and community culture is unique, and they fluctuate with time, but there are hallmarks of wholesome behavior we can look for and encourage wherever we find ourselves. This mutual respect and care is at the root of growing virtue.”

Virtuous community

Jose Andres: Wisdom & Hope for a Transformed Humanity

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“War represents the worst and feeding the hungry the best of human nature.”

Below is an excerpt of Matthew Fox’s latest meditation on the killing of the World Central Kitchen aid workers in Gaza last week. It highlights the words of Jose Andres. For the full articles see and/or watch:

dailymeditationswithmatthewfox.org/2024/04/06/jose-andres-wisdom-hope-for-a-transformed-humanity/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-WKEDxrb9Y

Jose Andres: 
Wisdom & Hope 
for a Transformed Humanity

04/06/2024

Jose Andres is founder of World Central Kitchen and a well-known chef. He knew and worked alongside the seven people who were trying to relieve starvation in Gaza and were blown up by the Israeli army on Monday. 

In a moving and powerful article in the New York Times, Jose says this about his co-workers: “they risked everything for the most fundamental human activity: to share our food with others.”* 

Jose worked among these people in very difficult circumstances as they tried to provide food for people suffering from war and earthquakes, hurricanes and other disasters in Ukraine, Turkey, Morocco, the Bahamas, Indonesia, Mexico, as well as Gaza and Israel.

The hungry are not judged for their ideology or their religion or their being rich or poor or left or right. The work of the murdered food workers “was based on the simple belief that food is a universal human right.” 

Andres tells us that from the beginning of the war in Israel, they fed both Israelis and Palestinians more than 1.75 million hot meals and 43 million meals all told in Gaza. “Food is not a weapon of war,” he declares, and  

“Israel is better than the way this war is being waged,” including the killing of aid workers.   

He offers this advice, “after the worst terrorist attack in its history, it’s time for the best of Israel to show up.”

Half the population of Gaza’s 1.1 million people are currently facing an “imminent risk” of famine.

Food and hospitality are integral to the spiritual traditions of both Israelis and Muslims. … Spirituality and eating together go together, these are ancient archetypes that inspire Jewish, Christian and Muslim beliefs … One sign is simply the courage and generosity of people like Jose Andres and his co-workers. War represents the worst and feeding the hungry the best of human nature. “Feed the hungry and you feed me.”

Peace as a Path: Five Exercises

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Below is an excerpt of a Tricycle teaching by Thich Nhat Hanh. For the full article, see: tricycle.org/article/zen-peace-practice

Water / Reflecting

“Breathing in, I see myself as still water. Breathing out, I reflect things as they are.” When we are agitated or possessed by a strong emotion, we cannot see things clearly. If we only listen to our irritation, our despair, our anger, we cannot listen to the voice of the truth.

The refreshing moon of the Buddha 
Is traveling in the sky of utmost emptiness. 
If the pond of the mind of living beings is still, 
The moon will reflect itself beautifully in it.

This beautiful old poem tells us that when the lake of our mind is calm, the moon will reflect itself in the water. The truth breaks through to us if the water in our mind is calm. These are the two aspects of Buddhist meditation practice: samadhi and vipassana.

Samadhi is calming, stopping: stopping forgetfulness, calming our emotions, our agitation.

Vipassana is looking deeply in order to understand the true nature of things, to have the insight that can liberate us. But we can’t look deeply to get insight if we are not calm. So the practice of vipassana (insight meditation) contains the practice of samadhi and the practice of samadhi already contains the practice of vipassana.

Suppose that walking in the twilight you see a snake. You scream. But when someone brings [over] a flashlight, you discover that the snake was only a piece of rope. You did not see things clearly, because you were not calm.

In our daily life, we distort many things and make a lot of mistakes just because we are not calm enough. So we need to practice “water/reflecting” in order to become calm.

How to Be an Activist

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Can we rise above our own self-interest? Can we work together for the benefit of all? Below are a couple of excerpts from Rabbi Michael Lerner, a voice crying out, that says we can.

“How to Be an Activist

At a time when demonizing those who are not yet with us is commonplace and the political discourse is becoming more polarized, widening the political gap, insisting on seeing the humanity of others even when you despise their behavior, is a radical political act. Become curious. Ask not what is wrong with someone you don’t agree with, but rather what is driving them to support policies that are so hurtful to others.

“As we watch the violent attacks and rallying of xenophobia on both sides, we are brokenhearted. Although it feels like a time to stand with “our people,” we know this is a time to come together. This is a time of great suffering for all; a time of painful emotions. It is only by recognizing our shared fears and our shared tears that we will find our way through this nightmare. It is a struggle we need to undertake jointly. 

When we fall back into our separate and distinct identities we risk becoming part of the problem, not the solution. Both peoples suffer from ongoing trauma. We are all on high alert. The fear is palpable. And it is easy for us to objectify the ‘other.’ 

We seek a third path that neither perpetuates a xenophobic response nor sustains an unjust status quo. This moment calls us to slow down, sit with the pain and complexity, and grapple with our discomfort. It is a moment for digging deep, seeing across differences, and remembering our deep yearning for peace and justice. It is only through compassion and empathy that we will find a different way. 

We recognize and uplift the humanity of all peoples …” Rabbi Michael Lerner

http://www.tikkun.org/statement-of-solidarity-with-israel-palestine/