Author Archives: Patrick Cole

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About Patrick Cole

Husband, parent and writer. Sharing stories with a little humor and wisdom along the way.

High Coo – Nov 19 – Giving and Receiving

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As we approach the giving season, a couple of wise sayings come to mind:

“Some people spend their money freely and still grow richer. Others are cautious, and yet grow poorer. Be generous, and you will be prosperous. Help others and you will be helped.” Proverbs 11:24-25 http://www.goodnewsbible.com

“If you knew, as I do, the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing some of it.” http://www.quuf.org/the-buddha-on-the-power-of-generosity/

While generosity is a common topic across religions, it is also a subject for academic research. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK6xbsn1jfw and The Science of Generosity at https://generosityresearch.nd.edu/

Whomever or whatever motivates you, please consider giving a little more this year.

Today’s senryu: Giving and Receiving

if you see a need

then contribute what you can

what goes ’round comes ’round

November 18 – Remembering A Deceased Loved One

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Remembering a loved one doesn’t necessarily need to end at the memorial service or the death site. Both of these actions are appropriate responses yet more may be desired to keep the loved one’s memory closer to home, closer to you on a daily basis.

Two writings offer some helpful advice. First is an article by Allison Grinberg-Funes (https://www.eterneva.com/resources/memorialize-loved-ones) in which she offers Ideas for Memorializing Deceased Loved Ones:

  1. Turn their ashes into a cremation diamond
  2. Visit their final resting place
  3. Do something they enjoyed or you did together
  4. Have a memorial release with balloons or butterflies
  5. Listen to their favorite songs or watch their favorite movies
  6. Look through old photos with friends and family
  7. Plant a tree, shrub, or flowers and visit it
  8. Create a memorial website or Facebook page
  9. Donate to their favorite charity
  10. Eat or cook their favorite food
  11. Write them a letter, poem or song.

The second writing is a section from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book How To Live When A Loved One Dies (c) 2020, Parallax Press called Making An Altar For Your Loved One:

“When we have lost someone we love, we often feel the need to express our deep love and gratitude to them…and we want to keep their memory alive…Making a shrine or altar is a concrete way of expressing our love and care, and of helping us feel connected to them. We can set up a small table and place a photograph of our loved one, a candle, some flowers, and other meaningful things on it.” p.133 http://www.parallax.org/product/how-to-live-when-a-loved-one-dies/

Check out both sources for more information.

In the meantime, here is today’s brief poem: Remembering A Deceased Loved One

our lives together

made great memories for us –

thank you forever

High Coo – Nov 17 – Losing My Attachment Figures

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https://theawkwardarchaeologist.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/the-comfort-of-things/
https://theawkwardarchaeologist.wordpress.com/2019/03/11

“Attachment theory is a very popular concept among psychologists and has been for a few decades now. It states that humans – in fact, all mammals – have an innate drive to seek out close emotional relationships with other people, who can become our ‘attachment figures’. Humans seem to have developed a particularly flexible attachment system. By this, I mean that we can become emotionally attached to a wide number of other people, from relatives to friends to romantic partners. Even non-humans can be our attachment figures – think about the bond you might have with a beloved pet, for example. Even inanimate objects can be attachment figures – the notion of a child and their teddy is a common attachment bond in many Western countries.” Maddie Bleasdale, aka The Awkward Archaeologist (see link above).

A recent Animal Chaplaincy class discussed how a loved pet (aka companion animal) can be a traumatic event for someone, especially when that loved one was a “primary attachment figure.” The guest speaker, Janel Griffieth, a Senior Director for CARE (Companions and Animals for Reform and Equity (https://careawo.org/about-us/) gave a powerful presentation about her personal experiences and why knowing more about trauma, resiliency, hope and the Attachment Theory can help animal chaplains be more empathetic when humans are emotionally devastated by the loss of their trusted non-human companion.

Today’s poem: Losing My Attachment Figures

the moment you died

I was sad, lonely, bereft –

I walk with you now

The book below, by Thich Nhat Hanh, has been helpful for me, perhaps it may be helpful to someone you know. https://www.parallax.org/product/how-to-live-when-a-loved-one-dies/

High Coo – Nov 16 – 3 Questions at Rainbow Bridge

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Today’s senryu: 3 Questions at Rainbow Bridge

Together again?

Secure attachment regained?

Trust in the Pure Land?

Today is one of those days when big questions collide for me. I’m trying to sort out a few of them and would appreciate your insights.

“The human-animal bond is a mutually beneficial and dynamic relationship between people and animals that is influenced by behaviors essential to the health and wellbeing of both.” https://vetexplainspets.com/human-animal-bond/

“The Rainbow Bridge is a meadow where animals wait for their humans to join them, and the bridge that takes them all to Heaven, together.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_Bridge_(pets)

“It is only because of our misunderstanding that we think the person we love no longer exists after they ‘pass away.’  This is because we are attached to one of the forms, one of the many manifestations of that person.  When that form is gone, we suffer and feel sad.  The person we love is still there.  He is around us, within us and smiling at us.  In our delusion we cannot recognize him, and we say: ‘He no longer is.’  We ask over and over, ‘Where are you?  Why did you leave me all alone?’  Our pain is great because of our misunderstanding.  But the cloud is not lost.  Our beloved is not lost.  The cloud is manifesting in a different form.  Our beloved is manifesting in a different form.  If we can understand this, then we will suffer much less.” Thich Nhat Hanh, No Death, No Fear

High Coo – Nov 15 – Senryu to You Two

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Dr. B and Dr. C from The Two Doctors https://thetwodoctors.uk/

As a life-long learner, I appreciate great teachers, those who love learning and love helping others learn. Dr. B and Dr. C are role models worth meeting.

Most recently, Dr. B, has introduced his readers to Senryu (pronounced sen – rye – ooo). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJmzsBmog_Q

Senryu is described as “a Japanese form of short poetry similar to haiku in construction: three lines with 17 or fewer syllables in total. However, senryū tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are serious.” https://www.languageisavirus.com/poetry-guide/senryu.php

Another good source of information on senryu is a blog called Failed Haiku at https://failedhaiku.com/2022/11/. Editor Bryan Rickert with founder and now Video Editor Mike Rehling offer regular publications and contests for participants.

My first knowing attempt: Senryu to You Two

wonderful teachers

encourage exploration:

who are you, again?

High Coo – Nov 12 – Emily Dickinson First Published

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Emily Elizabeth Dickinson was born 1830 in Amherst, Massachusetts and died 55.5 years later in 1886. Her first book of poetry was published four years after her death on November 12th, 1890.

It is reported that only 10 of her nearly 1,800 poems were published during her lifetime. No one realized she was such a prolific writer until her cache of poetry was discovered by her sister after her death. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emily_Dickinson

What few poems were published during her lifetime were heavily edited to meet the “standards” of acceptable poetry as determined by the publishers of her time.

A complete collection of her poetry did not become available until 1955 (65 years after her death). “The Poems of Emily Dickinson — Emily Dickinson, Thomas H. Johnson”. Harvard University Press.

Today’s homage haiku: Emily Dickinson First Published

unacceptable

during your lifetime – today

you are a model

Publishers interested in book sales may not appreciate your work today. The “fickle finger of fate” may not “reward” you during your lifetime. Nevertheless, the reasons you write, and the acceptable standards of your writing, are something only you can determine.

High Coo – Nov 11 – Happy Birthday, Kurt Vonnegut

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The New York Times

Regular readers of this blog know that Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. is my favorite author. Today is his 100th birthday and I am compelled to recommend him again.

Born 11/11/1922, he died in 2007 at the age of 84.

As reported by The New York Times, “Vonnegut died in the Manhattan borough of New York City on the night of April 11, 2007, as a result of brain injuries incurred several weeks prior, from a fall at his brownstone home.” (Dinitia Smith, The New York Times)

True to his irreverent nature, “In a 2006 Rolling Stone interview, Vonnegut sardonically stated that he would sue the Brown & Williamson tobacco company, the maker of the Pall Mall-branded cigarettes he had been smoking since he was around 12 or 14 years old, for false advertising: “And do you know why? Because I’m 83 years old. The lying bastards! On the package Brown & Williamson promised to kill me.” (Lev Grossman, TIME)

Considered the Mark Twain of his generation, Vonnegut wrote 14 novels addressing his aversion to war, religion and politics. All are well worth reading, yet lately, I have been rereading the book Pity The Reader written by Vonnegut & Suzanne McConnell (paperback published in 2020 by Seven Stories Press). This book is based on a short article he wrote for International Paper Company titled, How to Write with Style. In his succinct fashion, Vonnegut identified the eight things to remember to have a successful writing style:

  1. Find a subject you care about
  2. Do not ramble
  3. Keep it simple
  4. Have the guts to cut
  5. Sound like yourself
  6. Say what you mean
  7. Pity the readers
  8. For really detailed advice …

Here is my homage haiku: Happy Birthday Kurt Vonnegut

brevity revealed

your soul’s desire to find

decent humankind

High Coo – Nov 10 – Thank You, Joe Juran

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How do you define quality? What about blog quality? Does this blog meet your quality expectations?

Today is World Quality Day (https://nationaltoday.com/world-quality-day/) and one of the major contributors to the understanding and practice of quality is Joseph Juran. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_M._Juran).

With a degree in Electrical Engineering and many years of practical experience beginning with his time at Western Electric’s Hawthorne Works, Juran went on to become a well-known author and consultant. He has been referred to as one of the founding fathers of the quality movement.

While the quality movement began in the manufacturing sector, Juran was instrumental into expanding quality planning, quality control and quality improvement into other sectors (e.g., service).

Joe Juran retired at age 90 in 1994 and lived another 13 years before his death in 2008. His final messages were about Big Q and a focus on quality of life and environmental quality.

I recall meeting him in the late 1980s at the end of a week-long quality planning training program and was very impressed with his direct yet low-key delivery. He may not have been as dynamic a speaker as his counterparts, Crosby and Deming, but his clarity, focus and many publications were extremely helpful. See a chart below as an example.

http://www.juran.com

Today’s homage haiku: Thank You, Joe Juran

simple golden rule:

customers know quality

ask and follow through

High Coo – Nov 9 – HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARL SAGAN

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Today is Carl Sagan’s birthdate. He was born on Nov 9, 1934, in Brooklyn, NY, USA.

Check out: https://carlsagan.com/ … https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Sagan … https://www.biography.com/scientist/carl-sagan

An amazing communicator and Pulitzer Prize winning author, Sagan is probably most well-known for his groundbreaking (or should I say skybreaking) television show: COSMOS: A PERSONAL JOURNEY, the most watched PBS series until 1990. The show has been seen by 500 million people across 60 countries.

But with intelligence and charisma, Sagan was envied and resisted by peers throughout his life. Two examples include:

  • Before the end of high school, he entered an essay contest in which he posed the question of whether human contact with advanced life forms from another planet might be as disastrous for people on Earth as it was for Native Americans when they first had contact with Europeans. The subject was considered controversial, but his rhetorical skill won over the judges, and they awarded him first prize.
  • Harvard denied Sagan tenure (perhaps due to envy from tenured professors with less public recognition than him) so he became well-known for his leadership at Cornell University.

Unfortunately, Sagan died at the age of 62 in 1996 due to myelodysplasia. Fortunately, Sagan inspired many others to follow in his footsteps and carry the torch for creative thinking and science communication.

Today’s haiku: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARL SAGAN

thank you for “billions”,

Neal deGrasse Tyson and your

partner, Ann Druyan

Druyan, executive producer and writer of Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey, accepting the Peabody Award in 2014