Author Archives: Patrick Cole

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About Patrick Cole

Husband, parent and writer. Sharing stories with a little humor and wisdom along the way.

Dec 1 – Some Days Are Stone

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Lexie

After fourteen years together, I delivered our beautiful cat, Lexie, to veterinary specialists for a throat scope early this morning. In a few short weeks she had gone from a social, vocal and loving feline companion to a hoarse, weak, barely eating cat choosing to hide from the family.

An x-ray late last week and a CT-scan earlier this week, revealed a mass in her throat. Veterinary specialists advised a throat scope but forewarned us Lexie might not survive the procedure. They told us a throat scope could tell us more about the mass and any possible treatment options.

We were mentally prepared for the worst but still hoped for any good news. Sadly, we were not fully prepared emotionally to hear the final diagnosis and recommendation. The throat scope revealed Lexie had cancer and it had progressed beyond any recommended treatment. They could revive her for a final goodbye, but euthanasia appeared to be the most compassionate next step.

My wife and I returned to say our goodbyes. We petted and hugged her. We apologized for not knowing how to help her earlier than we had. We thanked her for our fourteen years together. We asked her to wait for us at Rainbow Bridge. We told her we would miss her terribly and would place her cremains on our memorial bookcase with other loved ones from our “furever” family.

My wife held Lexie as our beloved feline received two injections into her IV. She was gone almost instantly. See https://www.vet.cornell.edu/departments-centers-and-institutes/cornell-feline-health-center/health-information/feline-health-topics/euthanasia-what-expect-and-what-questions-ask-first

Love is hard, grief is hard, and some days are very hard.

CYE Countdown – Dec 2 – National Mutt Day

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What is a mutt? A dog of doubtful pedigree.

What is a pedigree? Recorded ancestry, especially upper-class ancestry, a pure-bred.

What is National Mutt Day? “A holiday that celebrates mixed breed dogs. It is also an unofficial holiday that proclaims that these dogs are as special as their pure-bred counterparts and should be afforded the same love, affection, and respect.

This day should also serve as a reminder that there are millions of mixed breed dogs in shelters all over the United States who are just waiting for a family to take them home and love them.” https://www.holidayscalendar.com/event/national-mutt-day/

Why adopt a mutt versus a purebred? They’ve got the best temperaments.

Most purebreds were bred for specific traits, so they’re likely to have a more extreme personality. Mutts, on the other hand, have a blend of traits from different sources, which often leads to a more mellow mood. In fact, purebred dogs are more likely than mutts to have genetic disorders, including cataracts and hypothyroidism.” https://nationaltoday.com/national-mutt-day/

One more thought for consideration. My father would sometimes smile and with a twinkling eye say: “I’m Irish, English, Scottish and Dutch and a little bit German but not very much.”

Today’s senryu/dogryu: Adopt A Mutt

Now think about it –

what’s your ancestral record?

Mutts should adopt mutts 🙂

CYE Countdown – Dec 1 – Thank You, Sallie McFague

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Today is the first day of the last month of this year. Only 31 more days until the new year. What might we do different this month to end 2022 well and ensure 2023 will be better?

In her Yale University address A New Climate for Theology: God, the World, and Global Warming, Dr. Sallie McFague said, “a different world is possible if we live differently.” Check out the address video here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjK4d8ci1e0

Dr. Sallie McFague

A few of my favorite Sallie McFague references are:

“theology is mostly fiction“, but a multiplicity of images, or metaphors, can and should enhance and enrich our models of God McFague, Sallie (1987) Models of God: Theology for an Ecological, Nuclear Age. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, xi

salvation is about salvation of all earthly bodies (not just human ones) and first and foremost about living better on the earth, not in the hereafter McFague, Sallie (1993) The Body of God: An Ecological Theology. Minneapolis: Fortress Press, p. 44

God is the one ‘who judges those who thwart the well-being and fulfilment of her body, our world’ McFague, Sallie (1987) Models of God: Theology for an Ecological, Nuclear Age. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 11

And for more information about this eloquent American feminist Christian theologian, check out her biography here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sallie_McFague

Today’s homage senryu: Thank You, Sallie McFague

speaking truthfully

you clearly said how we could

live differently

May we apply our wisdom more effectively this month.

A New Climate for Christology: Kenosis, Climate Change, and Befriending Nature. Minneapolis: Fortress Press (2021)

High Coo – Nov 24 – Thanksgiving Day Wisdom

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I am thankful for life and for the wisdom to appreciate life. Here are a couple of thoughts that come to mind for me today:

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is Thank You, it will be enough.” Meister Eckhart https://internetpoem.com/meister-eckhart/quotes/

Psalm 92: “It is good to give thanks. Does God need to hear my praise? No, I need to express it. To awaken to wonder, to holiness, to God, I must transcend the ego-centered drama I pretend is life. To shatter pretense, give thanks. Each thank-you reduces the false you. When I give thanks, I embrace others. When I give thanks, I move from drama to play and discover the aliveness that Is when I stop playing God and discover that God is playing me. It is good to give thanks for through thanksgiving awakening lies.” Minyan – Ten Principles for Living a Life of Integrity (c) 1997 Rabbi Rami M. Shapiro http://rabbirami.com/#Perrenial-Wisdom

“Religions are like languages: no language is true or false; all languages are of human origin; each language reflects and shapes the civilization that speaks it; there are things you can say in one language that you cannot say or say as well in another; and the more languages you speak, the more nuanced your understanding of life becomes.” http://rabbirami.com/

My humble senryu: Thanksgiving Day Wisdom

I’m grateful for you,

for us, for all beings and

this day to say THANKS

Three granddaughters with Nonno Photo taken by my daughter Mary

High Coo – Nov 23 – Thankful for My Dog Day

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“Big dogs, small dogs, yappy dogs, fluffy dogs, all kinds of dogs deserve our love and affection every day, but most of all on Thankful for My Dog Day.

In Western society, people highly value dogs because of their characteristics of friendship, protectiveness, loyalty, and affection. Dogs are also widely used in animal-assisted therapy. This type of treatment helps to relieve anxiety, pain, and depression in people with a range of mental or physical health problems.

Show off your dog today. Post photos and videos of your pupper on social media and say how proud you are of them. Also, tell your dog you love them when you’re with other people — animals understand when we’re pleased with them.” https://nationaltoday.com/thankful-for-my-dog-day/

Today’s haiku: Thankful for My Dog Day

In ev’ry season

dogs point out nature highlights –

let’s follow their lead

Here’s a few photos from our household:

Please post photos of your dog(s) below.

High Coo – Nov 19 – Giving and Receiving

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As we approach the giving season, a couple of wise sayings come to mind:

“Some people spend their money freely and still grow richer. Others are cautious, and yet grow poorer. Be generous, and you will be prosperous. Help others and you will be helped.” Proverbs 11:24-25 http://www.goodnewsbible.com

“If you knew, as I do, the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing some of it.” http://www.quuf.org/the-buddha-on-the-power-of-generosity/

While generosity is a common topic across religions, it is also a subject for academic research. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hK6xbsn1jfw and The Science of Generosity at https://generosityresearch.nd.edu/

Whomever or whatever motivates you, please consider giving a little more this year.

Today’s senryu: Giving and Receiving

if you see a need

then contribute what you can

what goes ’round comes ’round

November 18 – Remembering A Deceased Loved One

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Remembering a loved one doesn’t necessarily need to end at the memorial service or the death site. Both of these actions are appropriate responses yet more may be desired to keep the loved one’s memory closer to home, closer to you on a daily basis.

Two writings offer some helpful advice. First is an article by Allison Grinberg-Funes (https://www.eterneva.com/resources/memorialize-loved-ones) in which she offers Ideas for Memorializing Deceased Loved Ones:

  1. Turn their ashes into a cremation diamond
  2. Visit their final resting place
  3. Do something they enjoyed or you did together
  4. Have a memorial release with balloons or butterflies
  5. Listen to their favorite songs or watch their favorite movies
  6. Look through old photos with friends and family
  7. Plant a tree, shrub, or flowers and visit it
  8. Create a memorial website or Facebook page
  9. Donate to their favorite charity
  10. Eat or cook their favorite food
  11. Write them a letter, poem or song.

The second writing is a section from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book How To Live When A Loved One Dies (c) 2020, Parallax Press called Making An Altar For Your Loved One:

“When we have lost someone we love, we often feel the need to express our deep love and gratitude to them…and we want to keep their memory alive…Making a shrine or altar is a concrete way of expressing our love and care, and of helping us feel connected to them. We can set up a small table and place a photograph of our loved one, a candle, some flowers, and other meaningful things on it.” p.133 http://www.parallax.org/product/how-to-live-when-a-loved-one-dies/

Check out both sources for more information.

In the meantime, here is today’s brief poem: Remembering A Deceased Loved One

our lives together

made great memories for us –

thank you forever

High Coo – Nov 17 – Losing My Attachment Figures

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https://theawkwardarchaeologist.wordpress.com/2019/03/11/the-comfort-of-things/
https://theawkwardarchaeologist.wordpress.com/2019/03/11

“Attachment theory is a very popular concept among psychologists and has been for a few decades now. It states that humans – in fact, all mammals – have an innate drive to seek out close emotional relationships with other people, who can become our ‘attachment figures’. Humans seem to have developed a particularly flexible attachment system. By this, I mean that we can become emotionally attached to a wide number of other people, from relatives to friends to romantic partners. Even non-humans can be our attachment figures – think about the bond you might have with a beloved pet, for example. Even inanimate objects can be attachment figures – the notion of a child and their teddy is a common attachment bond in many Western countries.” Maddie Bleasdale, aka The Awkward Archaeologist (see link above).

A recent Animal Chaplaincy class discussed how a loved pet (aka companion animal) can be a traumatic event for someone, especially when that loved one was a “primary attachment figure.” The guest speaker, Janel Griffieth, a Senior Director for CARE (Companions and Animals for Reform and Equity (https://careawo.org/about-us/) gave a powerful presentation about her personal experiences and why knowing more about trauma, resiliency, hope and the Attachment Theory can help animal chaplains be more empathetic when humans are emotionally devastated by the loss of their trusted non-human companion.

Today’s poem: Losing My Attachment Figures

the moment you died

I was sad, lonely, bereft –

I walk with you now

The book below, by Thich Nhat Hanh, has been helpful for me, perhaps it may be helpful to someone you know. https://www.parallax.org/product/how-to-live-when-a-loved-one-dies/