Category Archives: psychology

May 31 – Animal Chaplains Repost

Mentioned earlier this week, I’m looking forward to my new helping professional role as an Animal Chaplain. Below is another article which explains how this role is serving people today. (See https://broadview.org/animal-chaplains/)

Stock photo by Christian Domingues/Pexels

TOPICS: ETHICAL LIVING | SOCIETY

Animal chaplaincy has become a growing profession

Animal chaplains like Rev. Sarah Bowen help clients prepare for and deal with the loss of their pets By Andrea Cooper, Religion Unplugged

 | January 9, 2023

Karen Walsh Gillingham might have felt lonely when she moved to a new home in Mendham, New Jersey. She was single then, with one son soon headed for college and another already there.

But she also had Baxter, a mini golden doodle who loved feeling the breeze out the car window during their rides in the countryside. “It was me and Baxter,” she recalled.

Baxter was by her side for 12 years, through the joy of her remarriage, the births of grandchildren and the pandemic. She was shocked when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died in October 2022. A retired nurse, Gillingham had faced many other losses, including the deaths of her best friend and both parents. But losing Baxter still hit hard.

After she wrote about her pain on Instagram, a friend suggested Gillingham talk with an animal chaplain. Gillingham scheduled a virtual conversation with the Rev. Sarah Bowen, an animal chaplain and ordained minister in New York through One Spirit Interfaith Seminary. Bowen is the author of “Sacred Sendoff: An Animal Chaplain’s Advice For Surviving Animal Loss, Making Life Meaningful, & Healing The Planet.”

“It was so comforting to hear somebody who has experience say, ‘It’s OK; it’s normal, and all that grief is just love that has nowhere to go,’” Gillingham said.

Chaplains provide spiritual support in hospitals, hospices, universities, the military and other settings outside of congregations. Animal chaplains focus on relationships or concerns involving animals, from a family struggling with a pet’s illness to a veterinary tech overwhelmed with seeing animals die at work to an activist struggling over the loss of a species or habitat. “Animal chaplaincy for me means that I support all beings regardless of their belief system or species,” Bowen said.

Animal chaplains can help clients prepare for a pet’s passing and run animal loss support groups. They partner with clients to develop rituals, from memorial events to a welcome for a new animal companion. They may also lead “blessing of the animals” services at houses of worship, or comfort families who have lost an animal following a natural disaster.

Never heard of this emerging discipline? You’ve got company.

According to a recent Gallup survey commissioned by Chaplaincy Innovation Lab at Brandeis University, one in four Americans have received support from a chaplain. Yet few respondents mentioned animal chaplaincy. The field “is still in its very early days,” said Michael Skaggs, director of programs for the Chaplaincy Innovation Lab.

The specialty is not the same as therapy. Animal chaplains typically describe their work as “companioning” rather than “counselling.” They listen and help make meaning from a loss or challenging event. Their work addresses the human spirit instead of mental health.

You don’t have to be religious to seek out an animal chaplain. They serve people of any or no religious background, including atheist, agnostic, spiritual but not religious, and pluralistic. In general, “chaplains have to be deeply grounded in their own tradition, whatever it is. They have to know where they stand, who they are,” Skaggs said. “But then, when they come into the encounter with the person, that grounding has to be invisible.”

An animal ministry

Animal chaplaincy began about 30 years ago, coinciding with new research about the human-animal bond and animal cognition, Bowen said. “However, the connection and the questions about animals and humans, and what those relationships look like, go back in every religion and wisdom tradition to the beginning.”

Some denominations address animal concerns in a structured way today. The Episcopal Church in the U.S. has established prayers for animals who are adopted, missing, ill or dead. There is a specific prayer during euthanasia and even one for the suffering of animals during war.

Unitarian Universalism maintains an animal ministry designed to “empower individuals, chapters, and congregations to build justice and compassion for animals.”

It starts from the premise that “when we look into an animal’s eyes and really see that animal, there’s someone else on the other side who is looking back at us — that animals are our companions in creation,” said the Rev. John Gibb Millspaugh, the ministry’s executive director. UUAM encourages congregants “along their own path of compassion and respect for animals.”

Of the 30 UUAM chapters in the U.S., eight have animal chaplains to provide support. Chapters choose their activities based on local interest. Some lead book and film discussions to engage their congregations. They may focus on diet, educating about plant-based meals and encouraging a vegan option at events. Some collect blankets for animals in local shelters or build fences for dogs previously on chains. Others care for wildlife through river cleanups and planting butterfly gardens.

The denomination is currently updating its core documents, which don’t specifically include animals. The most recent draft identifies “all beings” as subjects for concern, care and respect. While not yet approved, the potential change is “a big damn deal,” the Rev. Russell Elleven, who serves as chaplain to UUAM, happily exclaimed.

Interfaith, interspecies

UUAM animal chaplains train with the Association for Veterinary Pastoral Education in Raleigh, North Carolina — one of a few organizations devoted to educating in this niche area. Robert Gierka founded the program after years as a chaplain, first for a hospital and later for North Carolina State University’s College of Veterinary Medicine. The virtual program has attracted students from a variety of religious and professional backgrounds in the U.S., the U.K., Australia and South Africa.

People bring different and sometimes contrasting perspectives to the training. One cohort included a large animal veterinarian whose priority was animal welfare to lessen the pain and fear of animals slaughtered for food. Another student was an animal rights rescue worker opposed to the killing of animals for any reason. In those sessions, Gierka “did some pastoral magic with someone who did get kind of offended,” said Karen Duke, the association’s vice president.

Compassion Consortium, an “interfaith, interspiritual, and interspecies” nonprofit based in New York, offers animal chaplaincy training programs from three to nine months. Bowen serves as program director. Learners are diverse, from current and retired pastors and Master of Divinity students to people who practice reiki or other healing arts and want to add to their skills.

Some develop their passion for animals later in life. Bowen, whose degrees include a master’s in religious studies from Chicago Theological Seminary, recognized her calling early. Her dad, a Presbyterian minister, often stopped by a local funeral home with her before taking her to swim lessons. At age six, she used her metal lunchbox to transport “little dead critters to bury them in our backyard and give them funerals.”

She continues that impulse with her “roadkill ministry,” removing dead animals from streets for a proper burial and taking injured ones to wildlife rehabilitation. Her eclectic services also include teaching clients how to meditate with their hyperactive puppies and how to help a grieving pet when another pet in the household has died.

Fees for animal chaplaincy services vary, in part based on the time required. It’s common for practitioners to offer reduced rates for clients of limited means. Some support groups are free or ask for small donations.

The field is poised for growth, advocates believe. While the profession is still novel, “we don’t have nearly as many people doing this work as we’re asked for,” Bowen said.

Skaggs from the Chaplaincy Innovation Lab agrees, given how many people bring their pets to veterinary clinics each day to say goodbye for the last time. Most veterinarians are very sympathetic but don’t have the training to comfort people through their loss, he said. “How wonderful would it be if you schedule an appointment and the vet clinic says, ‘Would you like this person to be present during this process or available to you after?’” Ideally, he said, every clinic would have a chaplain.

Karen Walsh Gillingham would vouch for the profession. Through her conversation with Bowen, she realized her dog Baxter’s death had brought up grief from her previous losses. While Gillingham will always miss Baxter, she has room in her life for more love. She’s planning for a new mini golden doodle to join her family.

***

Andrea Cooper has written for The New York Times, Jewish Telegraphic Agency, Tablet and other national publications.  Her honours include the Simon Rockower Award from the American Jewish Press Association for coverage of North American Jewish history.

May 16 – “Keep Putting Things into Your Future”

Love takes work from both parties in a relationship. Making dreams come true for the two of you keeps passion alive. Be – Do – Have.

Today’s senryu: Keep Putting Things into Your Future

making memories

creating joy together

keep the dream alive

“Everybody wants to have great relationships. But unfortunately, when it comes to relationships, we spend so much time rooted in the past that we hardly notice that joy is possible in the present moment. Many of us are addicted to courtship, because when you’re in the courtship phase, you’re all lit up about the future. We’re going to be together, we’re going to have a great relationship, it’s going to be awesome. That sense of what’s “going to be” fuels your joy and excitement in the present moment. So you’re making plans, you’re doing all kinds of fun things, you’re all pumped up. Then you get married, and it all stops.

What stopped? The idea that your future could be more exciting than your present. The future is the fuel for the joy in the present moment, and once you’ve “arrived” – you’ve got the wedding ring on your finger, you’ve got the money in the bank, or whatever other future you were shooting for – all of a sudden the air goes out of the balloon. Why? Because you’re no longer creating from the future. You’ve achieved your goal and you start to coast. I hate to say it, but you can only coast one way – downhill.

In a relationship, if the future is the fuel because you’re so excited about what you’re going to do, then keep on putting things into your future that light both of you up.” Raise Your HDL: Healthy Deserve Level by Gary Kadi, (c) 2009, p.35

https://screenrant.com/best-pretty-woman-quotes

May 12 – Lookin’ for Love in All the Wrong Places

It’s said that “America has a loneliness epidemic” (see NPR‘s recent piece at https://www.npr.org/2023/05/02/1173418268/loneliness-connection-mental-health-dementia-surgeon-general

So what? Well, here are the consequences of loneliness according to a recent advisory from the U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy :

  1. “you can feel lonely even if you have a lot of people around you, because loneliness is about the quality of your connections.”
  2. the physical consequences of poor connection can be devastating, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease; a 32% increased risk of stroke; and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults
  3. many young people now use social media as a replacement for in-person relationships, and this often meant lower-quality connections.
  4. U.S. participation in community organizations — from faith groups to recreational leagues — has declined in recent decades.
  5. 2022 paper from Johns Hopkins University also found socially isolated older adults had a higher chance of developing dementia than their peers. “Social connections matter for our cognitive health, and the risk of social isolation is potentially modifiable for older adults,”

Today’s senryu: Lookin’ for Love in All the Wrong Places

we all need to love

giving and receiving love

look for love wisely

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76lWqOcaGNU

May 11 – A Victim Mentality Or….

Victim Mentality? This is a dangerous topic.

Last week during a 5-day meditation retreat that I and 300 others attended, a special small group consultation session was offered to “anyone who has experienced trauma OR knows someone who has experienced trauma.” Duh! Crowd murmuring began immediately with the gist being: wouldn’t that include everyone here, if not everyone on the planet.

While first or second-hand trauma seem part of our times, does that mean we should “wallow in misery”?

A Healthline article, How to Identify and Deal with a Victim Mentality, written by Crystal Raypole (see http://www.healthline.com/health/victim-mentality), offers a lot of information on this malady. Here are a couple of highlights:

  1. “The victim mentality rests on three key beliefs: Bad things happen and will keep happening. Other people or circumstances are to blame. Any efforts to create change will fail, so there’s no point in trying.
  2. People identify with the victim role when they “veer into the belief that everyone else caused their misery and nothing they do will ever make a difference.”
  3. A victim mentality can be distressing and create challenges, both for those living with it and the people in their lives. But it can be overcome with the help of a therapist, as well as plenty of compassion and self-kindness.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6yUY7M9yfw

Today’s senryu: A Victim Mentality Or ….

It’s clear, we’re in pain –

should we tell everyone or

someone who can help?

May 10 – Purity Is Not Holiness

Here’s another Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditation repost (from https://cac.org/daily-meditations/). It’s a beautiful reminder, similar to a message from the Bhagavad Gita, that divine DNA is in all of us and that love and life are messy.

Purity Is Not Holiness

Pastor and public theologian Nadia Bolz-Weber describes how emphasizing “purity” leads us away from holiness:  

Our purity systems, even those established with the best of intentions, do not make us holy. They only create insiders and outsiders. They are mechanisms for delivering our drug of choice: self-righteousness, as juice from the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil runs down our chins. And these purity systems affect far more than our relationship to sex and booze: they show up in political ideology, in the way people shame each other on social media, in the way we obsess about “eating clean.” Purity most often leads to pride or to despair, not holiness. Because holiness is about union with, and purity is about separation from….  

To connect to the holy is to access the deepest, juiciest part of our spirits. Perhaps this is why we set up so many boundaries, protections, and rules around both sex and religion…. But when the boundaries, protections, and rules become more important than the sacred thing they are intended to protect, casualties ensue.  

But no matter how much we strive for purity in our minds, bodies, spirits, or ideologies, purity is not the same as holiness. It’s just easier to define what is pure than what is holy, so we pretend they are interchangeable.  

Bolz-Weber points to Jesus’ actions to encourage seeking holiness over purity:

Jesus seemed to want connection with those around him, not separation. He touched human bodies deemed unclean as if they were themselves holy: dead little girls, lepers, menstruating women. People of his day were disgusted that Jesus’ disciples would eat with unwashed hands, and they tried to shame him for it. But he responded, “It is not what enters the mouth that makes one unclean but what comes out of it that defiles” [Matthew 15:11]. He was loyal to the law, just not at the expense of the people.  

Jesus kept violating boundaries of decency to get to the people on the other side of that boundary, those who’d been wounded by it, those who were separated from the others: the motherless, the sex workers, the victims, and the victimizers. He cared about real holiness, the connection of things human and divine, the unity of sinners, the coming together of that which was formerly set apart.  

When I think of holiness, the kind that is sensual and embodied and free from shame and deeply present in the moment and comes from union with God, I think of a particular scene in the Gospels when, right in the middle of a dinner party, a woman cracks open a jar of myrrh and pours it over Jesus’ feet [Luke 7:37–38]. She then takes her unbound hair and wipes his feet, mixing her mane, her tears, and her offering on the feet of God. Her separateness, from herself and her God, is alleviated in that moment. Holiness braided the strands of her being into their original and divine integrated configuration.  

Nadia Bolz-Weber, Shameless: A Sexual Reformation (New York: Convergent Books, 2019), 26, 22, 26–27. 

nadiabolzweber.com

May 7 – Last Day of Retreat

magnoliagrovemonastery.org/photo-gallery

Sunday morning coming down … the last day of retreat is for final talks and final goodbyes. Some people linger as long as possible while others pack up early and are eager to return to home, family, work, and/or civilization.

The vast majority of retreatants are making promises to themselves and/or others to return again. There are many goodbye hugs and well wishes shared.

Today’s senryu: Last Day of Retreat

renewed spirits and

relief to move forward – yes

impermanence is

The six-hour drive home includes a lot of debriefing with car mates that had similar yet different experiences than you. Since retreatants are assigned living quarters by gender and meditation groups by chance, it’s very likely that each traveler has a different perspective on what was their favorite part of the retreat.

So long, Magnolia Grove.

magnoliagrovemonastery.org/photo-gallery

Apr 21 – Good One, Mark Twain

https://www.onthisday.com/people/mark-twain

Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain) born November 30, 1835, in Missouri and died April 21, 1910, in CT, at the age of 74 from a heart attack. An American author most known for his classic, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, published in 1885.

Known for his humorous and insightful quips, here are a few of my favorites:

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”

“Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”

http://www.azquotes.com/author/Mark_Twain

Today’s senryu: Good One, Mark Twain

enjoy life today

tomorrow too, if it comes

humor helps a lot

Apr 10 – After Easter – Now What?

Below is a repost of a provocative reminder from Sr. Joan Chittister.

https://joanchittister.org/

What Easter is Really About

“The true division of humanity,” Victor Hugo wrote in Les Miserables, “is between those who live in light and those who live in darkness.” Victor Hugo, it seems, understood Easter.

We love to think of Easter as the feast of dazzling light. We get up on Easter Sunday morning knowing that the sorrow of Good Friday is finally ended, that the pain of the cross has been compensated for by a burst of brilliant victory from the gates of the grave, that Jesus is vindicated, that the faith of the disciples is confirmed for all to see, and that everyone lived happily ever after. We love fairy tales. Unfortunately, Easter is not one of them.

On the contrary, Easter is raw reality. Easter stands in stark witness, not to the meaning of death, but to the meaning of what it is to go on despite death, in the face of death—because of death. To celebrate Easter means to stand in the light of the empty tomb and decide what to do next. Until we come to realize that, we stand to misread the meaning not simply of the Easter gospel but of our own lives. We miss the point. We make Easter an historical event rather than a life-changing commitment. We fail to realize that Easter demands as much of us now as it did of the apostles then.

Most of all we miss the very meaning of the Easters that we are dealing with in our own lives, in our own time. 

Easter is the feast that gives meaning to life. It is the feast that never ends. After Easter, the tomb stands open for all of us to enter. If Jesus is risen, then you and I have no choice but to go into the tomb, put on the leftover garments ourselves, and follow Jesus back to Galilee where the poor cry for food and the sick beg to be taken to the pool and the blind wait for the spittle on their eyes to dry. All the fidelity in the world will not substitute for leaving the tomb and beginning the journey all over again. Today. Every day. Always.

That’s what Easter is really about. It is the “division of humanity” to which Hugo refers in his dramatic rendering of the struggle between light and dark. Yes, Easter is about dazzling light—but only if it shines through us.

              —In the Light of the Messengers: Lenten reflections by Joan Chittister, OSB 

Apr 10 – Man’s Best Therapist

Met a wonderful therapist at the Humane Society US Animal Care Expo last week, Jen Blough; a sister Michigander and animal lover. Her website is https://www.animalwelfarewellness.com/ and her clinic is called Deepwater Consulting.

Below is one of her blogposts and I highly recommend learning more about Jen, her books and her services.

Man’s Best…Therapist? Exploring the Health Benefits of Animals

When we live with, care for, work with, and protect animals, we often find ourselves forming deep attachments to them. This special connection, known as the human-animal bond, is described by the American Veterinary Medical Association as a “mutual beneficial and dynamic relationship between people and other animals that is influenced by behaviors that are essential to the health and well-being of both.”

Benefits of the Human-Animal Bond

People are forming friendships with all creatures great and small in some rather unlikely places – zoos, hospitals, and even prisons. More than 90 percent of zookeepers, for example, report having a bond with one or more animals in their care. Sharing the company of birds helps older patients in skilled rehab facilities battle loneliness and depression while boosting morale. Providing aquariums full of fish for dementia patients promotes healthy eating habits, sociability, and relaxation. Prison programs are becoming increasingly popular, offering second chances to inmates and animals alike. From dogs and horses that need socialization to injured, sick, or orphaned wildlife, animals all of kinds are receiving comfort and care in the confinements of prison walls, and returning the favor by providing inmates with a purpose.

Research has only begun to uncover the myriad of psychological, physiological, and social benefits from human-animal interactions. Did you know that petting a dog, for instance, has been shown to reduce blood pressure in people – as well as in the pooches? In addition to helping us calm down, our critters can decrease our heart rate and cholesterol levels and boost our immune system. And forget fad diets and magic weight loss pills. When it comes to the battle of the bulge, nothing beats man’s best friend. A study by the National Institutes of Health revealed that those who walked their dogs on a regular basis were more active, less obese, and even more social. Animals promote healing in hospitalized children, aid adults coping with chronic health conditions such as cancer, and bring peace to those near the end of life in hospice care by alleviating anxiety and decreasing discomfort. As you can see, animals have an amazing ability to heal us throughout our lifespans:

  • Pets can help children develop motor skills, self-confidence, and empathy.
  • Children often see their pets as companions, even siblings. In withdrawn or shy children, sometimes a pet is the only companion.
  • Companion animals provide affection.
  • They promote opportunities to exercise, play, and socialize.
  • Pets allow us to love and nurture something – leading to enhanced self-esteem.
  • Companion animals are dependent on us, creating caregiving opportunities.
  • Pets can offer stability and support in difficult situations such as a divorce or move.
  • They can serve as an extension (eyes, ears, or legs) for those with physical impairments.
  • Pets can be a lifeline for people with terminal illnesses.
  • For the elderly especially, pets can provide a sense of purpose.
  • Companion animals provide something humans cannot — unconditional love.

Apr 6 – Breathwork

Breathwork refers to any breathing exercise or technique. People often perform them to improve mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. During breathwork, you intentionally change your breathing pattern.

Many forms of breathwork therapy involve breathing in a conscious and systematic way. Many people find breathwork promotes deep relaxation or leaves them feeling energized.” http://www.healthline.com/health/breathwork

One of my early morning sessions yesterday at the 2023 HSUS Animal Care Expo was the Benefits of Breathwork for Animal People offered by Katya Lidsky, Writer, Life Coach for Dog People, and podcaster for Somebody Save Me! I loved her metaphor of seeing our breath as a bat signal revealing our values, thoughts and actions. Becoming more conscious of how we breathe and focusing our breath more purposefully can achieve better results for ourselves and those around us.

https://www.katyalidsky.com/

As Katya explains, “I think of Breathwork as ‘active meditation.’ It has done so much to shift and improve my life that I got certified as a Breathwork Facilitator … I get to focus on the power of it, the love of it, and give it away.

If you work in animal welfare as a rescuer, at the animal shelter, behind the desk at a nonprofit organization, or simply identity as an animal lover, I specialize in supporting you … I am open to supporting anybody because I believe that breathwork can help everybody.

Breathwork is a wellness tool … try it!”

I totally agree with Katya and encourage you to check out her website, podcast and her next presentation or training session near you.

Today’s senryu: Breathwork

many ways to breathe

revitalize yourself now

through conscious breathing